An Open Letter to Men About Menstruation and Womanhood

Womanhood is such a nuanced idea and is so unique and different to every person who identifies as a woman. What is womanhood? What does it mean to be a woman? Every woman would answer this differently and on their own terms. Defining womanhood gets more difficult when bringing the discussion of gender and whether it is binary and many people are questioning their gender identity. Yet there is something so beautiful, unique, and pure about womanhood that unites all who identify or have ever identified as a woman that I do not think men could ever truly understand. I sit here grasping at straws at how to fully comprehend and explain what this connection is. What I think it boils down to is empathy and strength. Every woman I know is so strong and because of this, they are able to empathize with others about that pain. We are able to share emotional connections with others and be open. Men are not like this, not of their own fault, but because they do not understand the pain of being a woman and through the pain of womanhood, the connection you forge with other women. Something that I have been so enamored with and wants to share is a speech in the show Fleabag that truly highlights the experience of women. 

“Women are born with pain built-in. It’s our physical destiny – period pains, sore boobs, childbirth. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives. Men don’t. They have to seek it out. They invent all these gods and demons so they can feel guilty about things, which is something we do very well on our own. And then they create wars so they can feel things and touch each other and when there aren’t any wars they can play rugby. We have it all going on in here, inside” (Refinery29).

This sums up exactly what I want to say about the experience of womanhood. Every woman experiences the inner turmoil and pain of womanhood, an experience that can unite us. An essential part of this is menstruation, though it cannot go without saying that not every woman menstruates and not all who menstruate are women. Menstruation is not just a sign of puberty arriving, but something that those who menstruate carry with them through adulthood, and yet it is undermined by men constantly. This ranges from jokes with the punchline being a woman being on her period or being “that time of the month,” to there being a tax on menstruation products as if they aren’t essential. As the quote reads above, “women are born with pain built-in,” (Refinery29), and we, along with all who menstruate, understand what it means to carry around that pain once a month. Womanhood is built around that pain. I will end with one of my favorite quotes about the strength, talent, and beauty of women and womanhood, ““Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty” (Film Daily).