Yesterday afternoon, students got an email from the University officially stating that online instruction would move online for the remainder of the semester. In other words, spring semester 2020 is over.Â
As a senior, this is the news you never want to receive. St. John’s students have seen other universities nationwide close for the semester over the last week and it seemed like a distant nightmare. Now, we’ve got the email we’ve all been bracing for.
I’ve been active on campus since my freshman year. I joined Delta Phi Epsilon sorority in Spring 2017, and Her Campus at the end of that same semester. I’ve spent my entire college career working my way through the ranks in both, building connections, accomplishing things I’ve always aspired to (SGI club recognition!) and making memories worth talking about. The final semester in college is supposed to be a farewell tour, the last hoorah, the way to cap it all off. But now it’s gone.
Springtime was always my favorite time of the year at St. John’s. I’ll never get it again.
The last time I’m on the carnival rides at the Spring Fair with all my friends. Gone.
All the sports and activities during my favorite week – Greek Week. Competing against other sororities and watching everyone’s Lip Sync performances. Gone.
Getting to hold elections for the first time as Her Campus president, to see who will take the reins from my e-board and myself for the first time since our campus recognition. Gone.
As an active sister, seeing the last new member class of my time get their bigs, cross, and experience life as a new sister. Gone.Â
There’s so many feelings to grapple with. Anger that Class of 2019 and Class of 2021 will get to have all the experiences we were robbed of, shock at the state of the world and how rapidly things have changed, and pure devastation. Class of 2020 will forever have this pandemic follow us throughout our career. It’s something we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. The whole world has been affected, but for us this is in a particularly & painfully unique way. College is ending like this.
I’d be lying if I said I liked being at St. John’s – for the most part, I didn’t. Like many students, I always complained about it. I’ve been counting down the days until graduation since January. But to have both the good, the bad, and everything in between ripped away so suddenly is something you would never want to happen. After Kobe Bryant’s death and now this, the biggest lesson in 2020 for me and many others has come in twofold – never take things for granted.
The moment I got in my car to return home last Wednesday, I knew it would be the last time. I’ve spent the last week coping with the inevitable loss of the remainder of my spring semester. I know a lot of my friends, sisters, and classmates are struggling right now. What has helped me personally is looking at this like a loved one who died. It’s devastating, it’s shocking, it’s sudden. There’s always the “I wish I said this” or “I wish I’d done this”, but there’s also the looking back and cherishing the memories we did have. There’s nothing I wish I’d done differently. I appreciate every moment I had on and off campus with everyone. Our time was cut short – but that’s out of our control.Â
So let’s celebrate what we did have. Call your friends, text them, reminisce – you’ll probably see them again anyway. Do what you need to do now to grieve, but know you’re not alone and we’re all in this together.