After careful consideration, I have realized that I am deserving of grace. This semester has been trying to say the least. Online school, compared to in-person learning, is a huge transition, and being that we have been stuck for two years due to the pandemic is even more challenging. Much of my growing into early adulthood has happened over this pandemic, and while it was fun in some moments for most of them, it was stretching, uncomfortable, and often I was alone. I have always prided myself in excelling academically, but what to do when suddenly your motivation to complete assignments or show up for yourself or class is dull and void? This was a significant transition for me in my sophomore 1st official semester. It was a lot of reasoning with myself, often forcing myself to get up and do my best when I often felt burnt out and tired. In these moments, I had no other choice but to rely on God to be my strength and see me through victory, and He has.
Frequently relying on myself would fail because I would be homesick, feeling lonely, tired of the same Monty’s food, or wanting to leave New York to be surrounded by what was familiar. In the undoing of my semester, I have come to realize that my best self was shaped, shifted, and renewed in this uncomfortable season in my life. Often I would try to rush out of my emotions to get back to feeling optimistic and triumphant, but the truth is every season doesn’t feel so victorious. Sometimes we feel defeated, and in those moments, holding closer to the promise of God can be the turning point for your renewal, redemption, and grace. Life will always be full of tethering waters, but how we steer and maneuver those seas is our fuel to bring us to our next season.
It is with great joy that I can say I am ready for the next season of my sophomore year, not because I am fearless of what it has to offer, but because I know God has prepared me with the tools to conquer the next. I have to lean closer to His voice despite obstacles that may come.