It’s one of the hardest things just about everyone goes through at least once in a life time; a heart break. The dreaded “I think we need to have a talk” or now a days you can even receive the devastating news via text message. Maybe one day it will be via Twitter . . . you never know what the future has in store. Anyways, break ups come in all shapes and sizes. Some hurt more than others. Some are easy to get over and some take time. In the end, they all have one thing in common. They suck. However, they are also the start of something new.
The focus of this article is what I like to call “the back-burner break up.” I am talking about the break up that is not supposed to last forever. It is the break up that is long-term and is what needs to happen right now, but let me reiterate, not supposed to last forever. Basically, one person wishes to set the other person on the backburner for a while and focus on other priorities at hand for the time being. Kind of like Kayne West interrupting Taylor Swift at the Grammy Awards like, “I am going to let you finish loving me . . . but I have more important things right now to deal with.” One person is always willing to continue the effort and do whatever it takes to get the dumper back. The dumpee blames it all on themselves and reanalyzes everything they put into the relationship and tries to figure out what they could have done to make it work. The truth is, and this is for real, it wasn’t you, it was seriously them.
The main reason for this type of break up is timing. Timing is a . . . well you know what I want to say here but I will keep it PG. Life is a killer. Stuff will come flying at you from every which way and then some and try to knock you when you are already down. When it comes to relationships, it is a true fact that sometimes the timing truly is not right. Sometimes two people cannot be together and it has nothing to do with anything else but bad timing. However, like most things in my generation, this reason has become an overused excuse.
The back-burner break up, whether an excuse or the real deal, sucks. With that said, I wish to offer my expert advice (LOL) on how to cope. Just do it. Give yourself one month and drink all the wine, flirt with all the boys, kiss a stranger at a bar, eat four gallons of ice cream, run a marathon, buy twelve puppies, eat a whole pizza, go on a shopping spree, slay each and every day, or cry for hours on the bathroom floor. It is your choice and no one can tell you how to deal with your feelings because nobody has the true right answer. You get to decide how to fix yourself when you are broken. And you will repair yourself whether it takes three days or three months, there is no set time and that is okay.
Like everything in life, busy is a choice. No matter what part of life you are in, you have choices to make and priorities that must be managed in a specific order. The difference is that in each part of your life, different things become more important that other things. Priorities change with maturity. Something that is important to you now may not be that important to you years from now. It is very important to remember that. Somethings will wait around; however, other things may move on and find something better.
I leave you with this, you deserve to be somebody’s priority. I know everyone has important things in their lives but someone you love should be someone you want to share moments with each and every day. Life is short and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Never settle for anything ordinary when extraordinary is out there and you can be extraordinary and share each and every day with someone you love (Slight Grey’s Anatomy reference). As blunt as this final thought is, the person who decided you were not priority enough over the other priorities he/she is facing, probably does not really love you like you deserve and it is time you find someone who does. So stop eating the ice cream, get up off the floor, put down the wine, and love yourself. It’s going to be okay.