If you’re anything like me, it’s tough to face the fact that you have limits. Everyone wants to believe they’re the strongest, most-organized, most-efficient person, but even the people with the best coping skills only have 24 hours in a day. I’m writing this to let you know that saying “no” to things is okay. You don’t have to do EVERYTHING just to feel like you’re worth something.
I’m as guilty of doing this as anyone else. I’m the queen of spreading myself too thin because I struggle with turning down the opportunities that come my way. I’m starting to learn the hard way that it’s better to love a few things deeply than to lack passion for the large number of things you’re struggling to keep up with. When I look back on my college experience, I want to be remembering nights with friends, planning events I was proud of, and forming great relationships with my professors. This realization led me to ask myself a question: “why are you pushing yourself so hard?”
This article isn’t written to say that you shouldn’t challenge yourself. College is absolutely a time to grow and change in ways you never thought you could. The challenges you’re facing are ones that should shape you to become who you always knew you could be, not leave you crying in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon because you’re supposed to be in 3 places at 8:00 on Wednesday night. None of us have a Time Turner a la Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (if you’ve got one, let me know), and even the most organized person can’t be in 3 places at once.
My lesson to you all can be summed up in a simple phrase: “let go and say no.” Take a step back and analyze what’s really important to you. For me, that’s making time for dinner with the friends I’ve been too busy to see. It’s weekend nights with loud music, and Sunday afternoon lunches at the Chinese buffet up the road from my school. For me, two nights a week laughing with my teammates as we’re covered in little bits of turf and mud is worth infinitely more than getting that one more question right on an exam because you studied just a little bit longer. It’s not about neglecting one thing for another; it’s about balancing all the things you need to do, and adding in the ones that fill your heart in the time you have to spare.
If something you’re doing doesn’t light up your world like Fourth of July fireworks and make you feel like you can’t help but talk a little too fast out of excitement when someone asks you about it… let it go. If a new opportunity doesn’t make you feel like it could change everything for you, it’s okay to let it pass by. Odds are good that the executive board position/internship/work study you just turned down will have the potential to change someone else’s life. If you’re not planning to dedicate yourself to what you’re doing, and if you don’t plan to do whatever it takes to maximize the opportunity to the fullest… say “no.” It doesn’t make you rude or unqualified, it makes you realistic.
By saying “no” and letting go, you’ll be making more room in your life for the things that mean the most. We’ve all got hours of homework, studying, classes, and meetings to take care of in a day, but never 24 hours-worth. So, what are you going to fill those extra hours with? Make it something you’re sure you love. Don’t do it for the resume builder. Don’t spread yourself too thin and you’ll find yourself right where you belong. I’m not perfect. I’m still terrified to let things pass me by, but I’m improving. The first thing I’m dedicating my free time to is this mantra.
HCXO,
Megan