My grandma altered my bridesmaid dress; she spent hours beading the skirt of my prom dress two years ago. She cooks Christmas Eve dinner every year and invites the whole family over and takes photographs of all of us together. She baked over a thousand cookies for my cousin’s wedding. More importantly than all of that: she welcomes people with open arms.
My older cousin just got married; she asked me to be in her wedding last summer, and a few weeks ago I stood at the altar crying tears of joy as she said “I do.” She never fails to make me laugh, always makes sure I’m looking the best I can (she’s a cosmetologist), and she loved me before I had even started claiming her family as my own.
Everyone jokes that my other cousin is just like me. We’ve got the same sense of humor, the same sarcastic attitude, and we both pride ourselves on giving fantastic Christmas gifts. She’s supportive in a way unlike any other. Hi Amanda, I know you’re reading this article because you read them all… I meant it when I said she’s supportive.
I remember the first time my grandfather referred to me as “my granddaughter.” For most people, that happens when they’re way too young to remember. I have grandparents like that too, but these ones are different. I didn’t hear “my granddaughter” until the winter of my senior year of high school, but it was assumed for a long time before that. The same goes for my stepdad, who introduced me as his “daughter” to the waitress he knew at the local diner when we were having breakfast over winter break last year, even though he’s been treating me that way since 7th grade. He’s made my mom so happy, fit himself into my life perfectly, and fixed my car more times than I can count.
This article is dedicated to the family I met later; the “step family” with such welcoming attitudes and love for me that I’d never call them anything but simply “family.” I was resistant to letting anyone into my life when I first met them a year after my parents divorced. I’m grateful I changed my mind, and that they didn’t give up on me even though I was so abrasive and guarded at first. I was resentful of anyone intruding on my little family unit, which had consisted of just my mother and I for over a year; we became incredibly close after her divorce, and we remain that close today.
If I had not been able to accept all changes in my life, I’d be a totally different person than I am today. Because I moved forward, I have a step-parent I love, and I went from being an only child to having 2 brothers. Because I learned to accept change and open myself up, I now have 2 cousins who I adore; we may have met when we were all over the age of 13, but it feels like they’ve been there my whole life. Because I allowed myself to love them, I found myself standing by my cousin’s side as one of her bridesmaids on one of the most important days of her life. Initially, I didn’t want to let any of these people in… and I’m more than thankful for my change of heart. When I look back on my life and ask myself to think of the people that made me who I am, their faces are the ones that come to mind. So this article goes out to my family… not my “step-family,” my “other family,” or anything else that sounds so distant.
HCXO,
Megan