Looking back on your first year on the Farm, there are a lot of things you wish you knew as a freshman: that going to office hours could have saved your GPA, that death-by-chocolate was about 1,000 calories per serving and that you should have gotten your butt in gear trying to find a research position before the year was over (…and if you’re a freshman reading this, I just saved you a lot of heartache). But, PC advice aside, there are a lot of things that should be screamed into every freshman’s ear on a spring quarter night: any guy standing by the wall is not someone you want to dance with, look at someone’s face before you do something you’re going to regret and never do anything that’ll make the phrase “your reputation precedes you” something that’s applicable.From the overseeing “sor-whores” and “fragots,” here are five things that every freshman should know before it’s too late.
1.Just because you don’t know them doesn’t mean they don’t know you.
Don’t hook up with randos from the other side of campus. Yeah, it’s tempting when you’ve seen them in lecture and already think they’re cute minus your alc blanket, but don’t do it! You WILL end up living with them next year, and it’s going to be hella awk trying to form any real friendships when you both know what you did last year (don’t kid yourselves—alc amnesia only goes so far).Â
2. Do NOT dance by the speaker cords.
If you’re that kid who cut the music because you were an idiot and stepped on the power cord, people will know. You can fool yourself into thinking nobody knows it was you because you stepped away fast enough, but just knowing what you did is a definite mood-killer. You’ll know you’re that awkward-as-heck kid who messed up the speaker system, and end up walking home by yourself.
3. Don’t dance under a balcony or too close to a table when Stanny athletics wins something.
In other words, unless you really like the smell of beer, be careful when you’re at KA after #winning. A victorious match translates into beer showers for most weekend warriors. Not much to do to avoid this — just embrace it when it happens and don’t be pissy. It’s a celebration!
4. Don’t think your freshman 15 is normal.
Every shot is 100 calories. Light beer is 70 to 80 calories a can. Beer bellies are impossible to lose, so minimize your drinking. And yes, it sounds stupid to say “moderate your drinking or you’re going to get fat,” but this is a girl’s magazine and we know what’s important. It’s easy to go overboard spring quarter with all of the blossoming Greek life, but don’t get too crazy — tanning on Wilbur field won’t be as carefree as it used to be.
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5. Don’t forget your SUID.
Seriously, you won’t get in. They have actual security for spring quarter parties, and your friends will be pissed that they have to walk all the way back to the dorm for you to get your ID. This is if they are good friends. Otherwise, you’ll end up walking back to the dorm alone, and it’s going to suck.