Sight Seeing at Stetson: The Good, The Bad… and the Just Plain UGLY
We go to a beautiful school. We have beautiful weather, beautiful brick buildings, a beautiful historic town and so many beautiful boys we just don’t know who to pick for this months campus cutie! Ok… maybe I lied on that last part just a little… ok maybe a lot! We all know how small Stetson is and how hard it is to find a good man in this town! And let me tell you ladies, I’ve seen some pretty unattractive traits in these boys lately. If you’re reading this boys, (and yes I say boys because if you have ever done any of the following presented below to a Stetson lady then shame on you) maybe you can learn a little lesson that may help you in your future dating endeavors. . . and ladies, just read and enjoy as you laugh at all of the stupid things boys CONTINUE to do.
-Numero Uno: The Tap Dance
The tap dance goes a little something like this: A boy who thinks he is being really sneaky by “tapping” a different lady every night. Now boys, “The Tap Dance” isn’t just for your typical idea of “tappin’ it”, it also goes for texting too. Whether your texting, kissing, snuggling or “tappin’” a different girl every night, your guilty of the TAP DANCE and may have some interesting consequences for your actions.
Good News: I guess the only good thing that can come out of the Tap Dance is that you will have temporary satisfaction and a feeling of “Man Hood”.
Bad News: There’s actually a lot of bad news… first being Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Boys, I know you don’t really care when your in the process of “tappin it”, but maybe think with your other head, YOUR BIGGER HEAD, and remember that 1 in 5 people in America have an STD. Not to mention that this school is small, word WILL get out about your Tap Dance, and women WILL NOT dance with you!
-Dos: Wolf Pack Pride
Ok cool. You hang out with a pack of men. That’s… interesting. Do you talk to girls… ever? Just wondering because I have NEVER been able to hang out with you outside of your Wolf Pack. Boys a little insight, think of it like this: A girl is Bambi (Yes that little talking dear). WHY WOULD BAMBI EVER want to hang out with a pack of wolves? If you can come up with a good answer to that question, your probably part of a wolf pack.
Good News: Congrats, you have Groomsmen! Harray! We can work on the whole, wife part.
Bad News: You will never get laid by a woman. Try other options . . . like your RIGHT HAND man. Ha Ha
-Tres: Shark Attack!
If you have ever watched Shark Week, then you may have learned that sharks have over 175% more testosterone than the average male! Holy Shiz. So guys, knowing that “fun fact” should put things into perspective: NO SHARK ATTACKS in the bedroom, in the bar, on the floor, in the car, in the fountain, NO WHERE! If you’re a little slow, let me explain a typical Shark Attack. Man finds woman. Woman likes man. Man lures women into Shark Cave (AKA dorm room). Man de-pants. Woman tries NOT to look. Man enters the threshold. MAN ATTACKS. Woman “OUCH”. Boys, harder is not always better. Studies show that woman are primary aroused by connection and emotion. CONNECTION=SEXY… Jackhammering a girl in the bedroom leads to OUCH! Ladies, I think we all know that the vagina is not made of steal, but rather sensitive skin and fairy dust ? so boys, be gentle.. like an otter! They hold hands when they sleep. Hehehe
Good News: You’ll get off.
Bad News: You’ll most likely never attract that mate again, and terrible reviews will be revealed to the other fish in the sea.
Boys boys boys… O boys… I hope this gave you a little insight into the mind of a woman. More of my many opinions to come in the future ;) hope you enjoyed
Xo Lady Jane