The Subtle Art of Giving Compliments

With the times that we are living in, it’s becoming increasingly more important to spread kindness whenever we can. Giving a compliment is a mutually beneficial act – it feels good to make others smile, and the person receiving the compliment will feel good about themselves as well! While admiring something that we like about someone usually comes naturally, there are ways to give more nuance to your compliments. 

Here are 3 ways to give more meaningful compliments: 

1. Before even giving the compliment, reflect on why giving that compliment matters to you. 

Other people’s actions can have an impact on how you feel. Oftentimes the best compliments aren’t about anything you admire about the person on the outside, but the parts of their personality that make them who they are. For example, we might want to compliment our friends who are good listeners. Giving that compliment would matter to you since you want to express your appreciation towards your friends for being there for you. While you could simply tell them that they are good listeners, acknowledging how that part of their personality affects you can make the compliment more personal and sincere. So in this case, when you acknowledge their impact as a person, your compliment might sound more like this: “I love how you always listen to what I have to say so attentively. It makes me feel valued and heard. Your ability to be patient and empathetic makes our friendship and our conversations so much more meaningful.”

2. Be genuine and specific. 

Giving vague compliments might make your compliments feel and sound empty. So instead of simply saying what you admire, try to go in detail about why you feel that way. For example, instead of simply saying that the girls trip that your friend planned out was “the best day ever,” try mentioning specifically what you loved about where you went and what you did that day with your friends. Also, try adding in how much you appreciate the time and effort your friend put into researching fun things to do and places to go. Specific compliments show others that you notice both their big and small actions. 

3. Compliment yourself! 

Complimenting yourself in the mirror will not only boost your own self-esteem but it will help you practice the way you compliment others. The tone, body language, and specific words you choose have an impact on how sincere your compliment will sound and feel. When you compliment yourself, you create a positive boost to your energy while getting a feel of what words you would love to hear to make you feel good about yourself. In the same way, direct that energy to how you compliment others. The same words that help you to love yourself might help others to love themselves too! 

And lastly, don’t be afraid to give strangers compliments! The more compliments you give, the more compliment-giving will become a habit for you!

• friendships
• mental health
• relationships
• self love