Hey there ladies and skyhawks—did Valentine’s Day not go as planned? No worries, there’s always Christian Mingle—but if you’re not quite ready for Jesus to takes the wheel yet, here are twenty pickup lines to get you off your sorry ass and back on your game. Thank me later:
•I thought happiness started with “h”? So why does mine start with U?
•I’m not really this tall; I’m just sitting on my wallet.
•My doctor called, he said I needed more vitamin U.
•My names [fill in here], but you can call me tonight.
•Are you good with phone’s ? Something’s wrong with mine. [“What?”] Your number’s not in it.
•Do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
•Do you have a map? I think I just got lost in your eyes.
•Jeez you must be tired! You’ve been running through my mind all day.
•If you were a laser, you’d be set to stunning.
•Hey, feel my shirt. It’s boyfriend material.
•Listen I’m no photographer, but I can definitely picture us together. (**Works better if you’re not a photographer)
•Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
•Whoa are those space pants?! ‘Cause that booty’s outa this world.
•Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
•I lost my number…could I have yours?
•I think you sat in a pile of sugar…because you got one sweet booty!
•I don’t have a library card…but do you mind if I check you out?
•Excuse me, could I get directions? [“To where?”] You’re heart.
•Life without you would be like a broken pencil…pointless.
So come all ye single and come all ye ready to mingle, this one’s for you. Valentine’s Day is not the only day to be unequivocally smooth, take it from me. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back out there! And if all else fails…add me @Givemepsalmofthat.