March 1st is my 20th birthday, so to celebrate, I figured I’d recap some important things I’ve learned, especially throughout my teens. Everyone takes different lessons from different periods of their own lives, but this is a non-comprehensive list of things I’ve learned on a personal health and wellness level that are super important to me!
- Stop caring what other people think
-
Lots of people say this, but what does it mean? Everyone’s version of not caring will be different, but for me, it’s about focusing more on making myself happy. Rather than being someone I’m not in order to make someone else happy, I live, act, dress, and do things I want to do and that will make me happy. The right people who like you for you will come along.
- Take time for you
-
Whether it’s homework, work, spending time with friends, or doing extracurriculars, there’s not always time to just relax. As an anxious person, it was almost like learning a new skill to figure out how to take time for me and being okay with not doing something that feels “productive.” Overall, taking time for yourself does generally help you to be more productive when you go back to the work you’re tasked with.
- Advocating for yourself is difficult
-
I’ve had to advocate for myself a lot longer than some others I know, just because of medical conditions. Even having so much experience with it all, it can be difficult to campaign and advocate for what you need or want, but it’s a huge skill for adulthood.
- To get help, you have to ask for it
-
Tying into advocating for yourself, to get help, you have to ask for it. This might seem obvious to some, but for others, it’s something we have to work on. It was difficult for me to get to a point where I was comfortable asking for help on things as small as math problems to as big as navigating relationships. Whatever it is, just learn to seek help when you know it would benefit you, if someone is really bothered by helping you, they have the option to say no, but usually they don’t.
- Friendships don’t have to last forever to be meaningful
-
One of my mom’s favorite sayings is: “People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I despised this saying for the longest time. When I was younger, I thought everyone had to have a BFF and that was just your forever person. In reality, the saying is so true and I’ve seen it not only in my own life but in other’s lives as well. As much as it hurts to lose touch or fall out with someone, there’s always something to learn from the people. The connections we lose make the ones that last a lifetime all the more special too!
- do things that bring you joy
-
I’ve found that it’s best to do things that make you happy. Whether its activities or a career, it’s important to do what makes you happy and what you enjoy rather than what will look good on a resume or what will make you the most money (even though money is great!)
- Feel your feelings
-
Sometimes you can slip into bottling every emotion and it becomes a process to learn how to feel your feelings again. Feelings and emotions are valid and you deserve to experience everything. So, let yourself feel and be honest with yourself about what you need.
- Seek out people who Love you for you
-
Having people in your life who love you for you makes it easier to love yourself. Whether it’s friends, family, or romantic partners, find people who you get along with you and value you for who you are.
- Failure can be a good thing
-
Me a few years ago would’ve said, “What are you talking about? Failure is a failure!” But honestly, failure is a guidance tool. If you know you did something wrong the first time and there’s ever a chance to improve it, you know better for the next time. In college, it’s hard to see failure as positive because of the many papers and assignments that mean so much. However, if you use this positivity, it can help change your outlook.
- put positivity out, get positivity back
-
I’m definitely not generally the most positive person, but I’ve realized that being positive about things has helped me a lot. When I’m positive about doing well on an exam or excelling at an interview, it usually works out for the better. Mindset is everything!
- Growth isn’t linear
-
In certain areas, you’ll grow faster than in others. Sometimes you take a step back from prioritizing something or realize you aren’t as equipped as you hoped to handle a situation, but when you’re conscious of the fact that growth is not just an upward curve, you might start to feel more empowered to keep trying to grow.
- You matter
-
I spent a lot of my time thinking that I didn’t. It can be really hard to leave that mindset once you’re in it, but it’s so important to know that you are valued!
- You Belong
-
You belong in every space! You deserve a place in every room! Especially in young adulthood, it’s hard to feel like you are “grown up enough” to be in certain spaces, especially in the job sector, but you deserve to have your place. Your opinions do matter.
- Tell people who matter to you how you feel
-
Oftentimes, we don’t tell the people we love most that we love them enough. So, always remember to let those you love and appreciate know how much they mean to you.
- be grateful
-
Gratitude was not easy for me and is something I still struggle with. It can be so easy to fall into wanting to complain about everything, but in doing so, I also try to see the positives of every situation. Being grateful for what we do have, instead of what we don’t have or the work we have to put in, is mentally impactful. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with complaining, but I also try to see the duality to everything and be grateful for the things and people I have regardless of the situations I am put through.
- You find yourself the most when you’re lost
-
For me, this came to be through figuring out my major and career path, but everyone’s experience is different. In my senior year of high school, I was completely convinced I wanted to be a doctor, but after a semester of “weed out” classes, I was weeded out. I had to discover myself and what passions I really was interested in pursuing both during my time in college and after. Feeling lost and like I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life brought me the clarity to see what I truly was interested in pursuing.
- Save up money now
-
If you even think about doing something that requires money, start saving for it. From college experiences like studying abroad and spring break trips, to post-college with apartments and newfound bills, it’s so important to have money saved up. Even if you’re not actively planning for something, it doesn’t hurt to put money away. Especially for those of us who are online shoppers (me included!).
- Say yes to things that intimidate you
-
Another component of growth for me was being willing to try challenging things. This doesn’t mean saying yes to absolutely everything, but rather, not turning something down because you’re worried about not being “enough” of whatever you have to be to do the thing. Even though I tend to be homesick, I said yes to the possibility of studying abroad because there’s so much opportunity in store with it all. Join that club, take that class, go to that party, say yes!
- Know that periods of time are temporary
-
The tough semester where you barely have time to see your friends will be over eventually. In the same token, the whole undergraduate experience is temporary too, so make the most of it while you can! Even though things feel stressful right now, they won’t always be this way.
- Celebrate your wins
-
In a way, this article was me celebrating everything I’ve acquired as far as life tips go. Whether its a passing quiz grade or that you got your laundry done, celebrate and be proud of yourself! Even the small wins matter in getting you to your bigger goals!