Liam Payne’s untimely death struck many fans across the world, and I particularly faced a lot of grief around this. The weeks prior to his passing were surrounded by hate and meme culture surrounding his life. His ex-fiancée, Maya Henry, was a guest on The Internet Is Dead podcast after confirming her recent book, Looking Forward, was in fact written about her relationship with Payne. This book detailed experiences of abuse, gaslighting, and drug use among other things. When the book was released in May of this year, fans had their suspicions, but the confirmation from Maya brought out what some believed was a justified wave of backlash.
At the release of the podcast, Payne was in Argentina with his girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, attending a Niall Horan concert, but also reportedly renewing his visa for the US. Kate returned to the US, and two days later, Liam passed.
Maya Henry has since come out saying that it was not her intention for things to end this way, but many fans have taken to blaming her for his passing. Many are also expressing that this wave of hate towards her is unproductive and unnecessary. The loss of Liam has been complicated not only for those close to him, but also for One Direction fans and fans of his solo work. While Liam did have some issues within his personal life, this doesn’t excuse the power that his music had in changing the lives of the fans and vice versa.
For me, this loss has been genuinely difficult to process as someone who first discovered One Direction in 2011 and has followed them since then. As details and tributes continue to be released, it becomes more and more real that he’s gone. His involvement in the band was instrumental, as he made it to the judge’s house in his first attempt on X Factor in 2008. When all the boys auditioned in 2010, and were placed together by Nicole Scherzinger, Liam was the one member familiar with the process. None of the five members were familiar with the seemingly instant fame they gained. Their fame and music impacted the lives of fans worldwide, including me.
My grief has been like the grief of many other longtime fans. I remember hearing “What Makes You Beautiful” for the first time when I was 7, wearing One Direction pajamas into a surgery I had as a kid, and seeing This Is Us in theaters with my grandma. I remember seeing them on tour twice, once with Zayn and once without. One Direction was my life and my one personality trait until I was 11, when they went on the infamous “18-month hiatus”. In 2017, I saw Liam solo for a radio station concert, in 2018 and 2021 I saw Harry (my personal favorite), and this summer I saw Niall solo. Even though the band has been separated for longer than they were together, each one of the members never shut down the idea of a reunion each time it would arise in interviews around their solo projects. There has always been a consistent community of fans, but through the years people seemed to lose interest or move on to other things.
Liam’s death has inspired people to come back to speaking about the band again, from the amazing things they did for fans worldwide to the most underrated songs written by the band. Seeing the community come back together is so beautiful, but it’s a bittersweet reminder that the band will never be the same again. I couldn’t have imagined that the One Direction account would post in 2024, much less that all four boys would come together to leave a tribute and statement for Liam. Additionally, Liam’s campaign with Choose Love, a UK organization dedicated to humanitarian aid, has garnered significant support since Payne’s passing, the campaign was even extended to allow fans to pre-order the t-shirt featuring art of One Direction painted by Liam himself. Fans have rallied around supporting this campaign and creating local memorials to Liam.
Payne’s passing has brought up a weird sort of ending to childhood for many fans, as there was a hope for a One Direction reunion, and regardless of whether one takes place it won’t be the same. The band we once loved has lost an integral piece and it’s been felt by the world.