So I finally caved and downloaded Tinder…like, years after everyone else got into it…But better late than never, right? I have heard so many things about Tinder from other people: “The guys on Tinder are such pigs!” “Everyone who uses Tinder is looking for just hookups.” “I met my current boyfriend/girlfriend on Tinder!” As with anything, the experience pretty much depends on the person and how much thought or effort you put into it, as well as what your goals are.
I finally decided to download Tinder because my curiosity became too much to bear. I wanted to see who was on Tinder- were there guys I knew personally? Guys I’ve seen basically every single day but never exchanged a single word with? I also wanted to see who would find me appealing- this is probably something we have all wondered at some point whether we admit it or not. Do people find pink hair attractive (‘cuz that’s one of the pics of me I used)? How many guys think an interest in writing is cool and not boring? Is my RBF still decent enough that I don’t scare too many people away? I was pretty excited/nervous to find out.
So I downloaded Tinder and began my one-week journey through a plethora of pics and swipes and here’s what I learned:
1. I suck at being conversational.
Sometimes I tried to be kind of creative by starting a conversation with something I saw in his picture, or something he mentioned in his bio, but most of the time I just simply said, “Hey.” How exciting. I like to think that I’m not a boring person and can have a conversation with anyone, but talking to strangers on an app is really different from talking to someone face-to-face over a couple of caramel macchiatos. Most of my conversations just felt so fragmented, especially when I wouldn’t reply right away. If anything, this made me appreciate in-person conversations so much more. So I guess maybe I just suck at being conversational when it’s not in-person?
2. You’re most likely being judged just off your picture and not what you put in your bio.
We all probably already know this, but I’m saying it just in case any of you, like me, had even smidgen of hope that people on Tinder actually took everything you included into account when deciding whether or not to swipe right. Some people do look beyond your photos. It’s sometimes obvious when they do and these were the people I was most likely to put effort into a conversation with. But, yeah, you aren’t submitting a resume and cover letter for your dream job, so don’t expect that everything will be looked at.
3. Don’t take it personally if someone you REALLY wanted to swipe right on you doesn’t.
I know it’s hard to not take it personally when everyone’s literally judging everyone based off of first impressions, but seriously, don’t. If that cutie you always see at Starbucks doesn’t match with you, their loss. You’re pretty awesome so you’ll have other matches.4. Avoid giving out super personal info.
This one guy I matched with kept asking me for a more personal means of contact…and we didn’t even have a conversation yet…I don’t give my contact info to just anyone because it’s not something I’m comfortable with doing. I told him that straight up and unmatched him. It’s pretty creepy if someone is trying to get that info after just saying, “hi, you’re pretty.” Stand your ground and don’t feel like you owe this stranger anything.
5. Not all guys on Tinder are pigs.
There are some really sweet guys with adorable personalities on there, too. Yay!
6. But if you do come across an unnecessarily vulgar match…Bye.
That’s it. You don’t even need to say “bye,” you can just unmatch them without warning. People like this do exist and can sometimes make you feel uncomfortable. Or maybe you don’t necessarily feel uncomfortable but the conversation isn’t one that you’d like to have. Don’t let them keep sending you dirty messages while you tell your roommate how disgusting they are. UNLATCH THEM.
7. GROUP PICTURES ARE THE MOST ANNOYING THINGS.
Seriously, how do I know which one you are if you don’t at least specify in your bio????? Some people use all group photos on Tinder and don’t even include in their bio that “btw, I’m the blonde one in all the photos,” or “I’m the really tall one in everything.” Smh.
8. Your first match probably won’t be your first Tinder date.
It would be pretty cool to score an actual date with a nice individual through Tinder, but you likely won’t be hitting the coffee shop with the first person you match with. Sometimes, you won’t even talk to half the people you match with. Also remember that you get what you put in. So if someone’s making the effort to have a conversation and you’re barely trying, I doubt they’ll be a match much longer.
If you do try Tinder, I hope you have fun!