I grew up here on Long Island as a first-generation Pakistani American. I’ve spent all my life here and the school district I went to was statistically only 6% people of color during my time.
To say I was uncultured would have been an understatement. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed to be Pakistani or anything, I loved being around my extended family, going to our extravagant weddings, wearing cultural clothing, and getting my henna done. But I didn’t know much about my culture other than what was stereotypical or surface level, and since my high school was predominantly white, I never really cared to.
I never listened to cultural music, or followed up on anything happening there; I didn’t care about cricket (the sport), or the politics of South Asia. If anything, I took pride in the fact that I was ‘whitewashed’ evening letting my friends coin me as such.
It wasn’t until I got to college that I started embracing my culture and taking an interest in it. I met so many people who grew up like me, something I never even thought was possible since I was previously stuck living in the bubble of my small town.
I found it crazy too; SBU is literally on Long Island, and in one of the less cultural places nonetheless. However, the campus itself is rich with culture, with a variety of people with different backgrounds, a factor that inspired me to commit there in the first place.
I began listening to Pakistani songs in the car, going to events, and caring about what was going on there. My cultural knowledge expanded so much and it was for the fact that I was finally exposed to so many people who grew up like me.
I always thought my experience as a first-gen was unique, something I now realize was so ignorant to think. It genuinely is crazy how egocentric or ethnocentric we tend to be until we go off to college and realize how big of a world there is, and how our experiences, although unique, can find people so similar.
I finally found people I could relate to, who could understand me. Although I love my friends from my hometown, and my friends from differing backgrounds, I never understood the value of meeting people who understand you without an explanation. I met people whose parents were similar to mine, people who I didn’t need to give a cultural explanation, they simply understood the fact that they had the same type of families and experiences.
Anyways if you’re a high school student reading this, or a freshman, college is the best place to meet so many new people, people who can be similar and different, people you can relate to and learn from, people who have nothing in common or everything in common; the connections are truly endless.
I have loved Stony Brook for its diversity, and teaching me the beauty of the human condition, and how relieving it is that my experience wasn’t unique, that I was never truly alone in how I grew up, I just hadn’t met those in the same boat as me yet.