I think I’m finally starting to understand you, even though all these years I thought I did. I thought I knew exactly who you were, right down to a tee. What’s interesting is that the giveaway wasn’t the things you could do for yourself or did do for yourself — it was the way you reacted to the people around you.
You see, you’ve gotten really good at being on your own. That’s not to say that you don’t have friends and family who love and support you. You do. But you also have a knack for figuring things out and doing things on your own, without help. Never looking to lean on anyone for support. It’s your problem and you have to fix it. You love this because you feel like you can think and breathe and just go at your own pace, and it’s become so familiar. You love it so much that sometimes you write people off as ‘too clingy’ or ‘needy’ and you don’t even realize it. You think that they need to stop holding onto you. There are times when you get so annoyed with them that you don’t even want to respond to that text or see them. Why can’t they just figure it out for themselves? It’s not that hard. Why are they texting me AGAIN!? But it’s really just because you feel that everyone should behave the way you would; everyone should just rely on themselves and do what they have to do. Be careful. You might push people away without knowing it.
You aren’t cold hearted, no matter how many times you joke about it. You just enjoy doing things differently, and you tell yourself your plans include just three people: me, myself, and I. It can sometimes be hard to break out of that bubble of doing things by yourself, but you do still adore company.
You love differently from most people. You have feelings, whether you’ll admit it or not, but you aren’t always the best at showing them. You sometimes dislike the desire of confirmations such as, “do you love me?” “did you miss us at all?” *shudder*. You don’t really feel the need for confirmation. You’ll believe it when you’re shown, rather than told. Sure, positive answers are nice to hear from others, but you don’t enjoy being suffocated by them and you don’t enjoy suffocating others in those questions, either. Because of this, you may come off as uncaring, and this can seriously hurt the people around you. Of course, you care about them; they wouldn’t be in your life if you didn’t. But some people have a hard time believing that and you don’t always make it the easiest.The people in your life are there because you want them, not because you need them. You’re probably really good at cutting people from your life — maybe so good that it gives you a sense of control over situations. And maybe even a little fear. Maybe you’re afraid that you won’t ever need anyone; you won’t ever want someone enough to stay by their side forever and have them by yours. The mere thought of it probably has you running for the hills, even if you know you wouldn’t have to think about it for at least another couple more years.
Does it make sense now? Why some people around you are “so annoying” and why you view things the way you do? I promise it’s not a bad thing, even though this article probably sounds solemn af and you’re reading it on a gloomy, too-quiet day (I know I’m writing it on a gloomy, too-quiet day). I promise it doesn’t mean you’re broken. But it definitely helps us be more aware of the people around us and try to understand them better. Granted, we may not always be perfect at understanding others, but understanding ourselves is a start.
If things were ever confusing to you before, I hope this helps explain things even a little.
From,
Your fellow overly independent girl
Gifs courtesy of Tenor and Giphy