The idea of happiness being a journey and not a destination is an abstract one, so let me explain what I mean.
Happiness is not a place at which you will arrive, never to be unhappy or to stumble again.
When I was in high school, I used to idealize what I thought college would be like. When freshman year didn’t go well, I idealized what my sophomore year would look like. And now that I’m in the first semester of my sophomore year, I even caught myself idealizing my next semester or the rest of my time in college.
And of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do better. Next semester, I hope to do a little more than this one- both academically and in terms of my mental health.
Next semester won’t be easier than this one- but because I have the knowledge gained from this semester, I know how to do better.
But the problem is idealizing the future- believing that you’ll be perfect, or that life will be perfect. And for me, that translated into expecting myself to be happy 99% of the time- which just isn’t realistic.
I used to think that happiness was this state of near-perfection where almost nothing went wrong, where I never had bad days – or weeks-, always felt motivated, never struggled, and never made those stupid mistakes we all make.
But that’s not what happiness is – and that perfect version of me doesn’t exist, either.
Happiness isn’t only in achievements or milestones- it’s in every day of your life. The little things- like new music from an artist you like, when you ace a test you thought you did poorly on, or going to a movie with your friends and talking and laughing about it in the car ride home.
It’s something that you can help invite into your life by taking deliberate action. Take care of your mental and physical health- be active, eat right, maintain a sleep schedule. Work towards fulfillment by setting SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Bound.
I’ll end with a quote from a YouTube video I highly recommend – 7 Ways to Maximize Misery by YouTuber CGP Grey:
“True happiness is like a bird that might land on your ship but never if you constantly stand guard to catch it. Instead, improve your ship and sail into warmer waters, and the bird will land when you aren’t looking.”