How Much Freedom Should Parents Give Their Children?

Have of any of these occurrences ever happened to you ?

You decide to go out with your friends at 9 p.m. and your parents tell you to be back at 10 p.m. You ask yourself in your mind HOW?

Your friends make last minute plans and you can’t go because it takes two whole business days to convince your parents.

You go up to your parents to ask something and instead say “Never mind. You’ll only say no,” just to build up some sympathy.

Freedom is a difficult thing that parents work out with their children. They never know whether to let go just a little or to keep holding on. In my opinion, freedom is an essential part of growing up. It becomes a classic argument between parents and teens. Teens like to think they have more rights and freedoms than they actually have, and parents like to think that teens have fewer rights than they have. It’s a misunderstanding that causes many arguments. I feel that freedom should be given gradually, as freedom can prepare a student for college life, and knowing how to survive on their own. Of course, there should be restrictions, but when there are too many rules and regulations, teenagers can start to rebel.

In my opinion, strict parents make sneaky children. According to a blog post, “Studies show that children raised with a strict parenting style tend to be more angry and rebellious as teenagers and young adults.” Strict parenting styles lead to teaching kids how to lie and get away with things. Their parenting style didn’t make you into a mini-adult. They didn’t change you from the average teenager, but they just simply locked you up. So in order to combat that, you became sneaky. Of course, no one wants to lie to their parents, but sometimes teens want to actually feel like a teen, and be able to have fun and “live their best life.” Whether it’s a simple get-together with close friends, or a movie date with your crush, parents need to realize that sometimes it’s better to give your child permission and know where they are, instead of them lying and sneaking around. What if there was a fire at the movie theater? The strict parents wouldn’t know that their child was there, due to them feeling like they needed to cover it up. Teenagers shouldn’t feel as if they are being controlled, but instead as if they are being cared for and taught important lessons, so they know how to make it on their own.

Personally, in my experience, having a Mexican mom and an African American dad meant strict parenting constantly. Having grown up in Mexico, my mom wasn’t used to the “American way,” or in other words, the way teenagers grow up here. This meant no dating, no last minute plans, and always meeting the parents of someone I was going to hang out with. While I got accustomed to this way, I started to realize that some things should be okay to do, and some things are necessary to experience if you are a teenager. Even to this day, my mom knows I have been sneaky at times, but at the end of the day I made sure I was okay.

Overall, parents sometimes need to learn how to “loosen the reins,” and let their children experience things, and yes – make mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. You learn what is right and what is wrong. Sneaky children are created by strict parenting, so in order to change that, sit down with your parents and explain that being controlling can lead to you having to lie sometimes.

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