Thumbnail courtesy of Matheus Ferrero
The dim lighting, aroma of ground beans and comfy leather chairs are every coffee addict’s dream. There’s nothing I love more than swinging my legs over the arm of one of those chairs with my MacBook in my lap and my iced white chocolate mocha on the coffee table in front of me. Starbucks is basically more of my home away from home than my dorm room is. But, it’s a rare occasion for me to not encounter one of my pet peeves during a visit.
1. When everyone and their mother stands right in front of the pick-up counter.
It’s not a race to see which customer can grab their drink the fastest. It makes it difficult for other customers to get their drinks when you and your crew are right in front of the counter. Bonus points for being an a**hole when I say excuse me and you still don’t move the f**k over. I promise, you’ll still be able to hear your name being called if you stand a couple feet back and let the counter breathe.
2. When someone walks away with your order because they couldn’t take half a second to read the name on the cup.
You probably just walked away with someone’s chocolate croissant instead of your chipotle chicken sandwich because you couldn’t be bothered with reading the name on the bag. It’s cool. Your professors make you read 50 pages in the textbook for homework, so taking a second to read one name must be so troublesome.
3. People who can’t get off their phone long enough to place their order and move on.
You’re talking to the barista, not Instagram. I’m not even a barista but I can only imagine how much this annoys them. Then, if they get your order wrong, you complain about how little they pay attention.
4. “Where the f**k is my drink?? I ordered it two minutes ago!”
TWO WHOLE MINUTES AGO?? You poor thing. Your life must be such a struggle. Your barista can’t respect you enough to put your drink ahead of the other 15 drinks they have to make. I think there’s this thing called patience, but I could be wrong.
5. “You go to Starbucks? You’re basic as hell.”
You care where I get my coffee? You’re bored as hell.
6. When the barista substitutes whole milk for whatever they have without letting you know first.
This is probably the one thing that any barista could do that would get on my nerves. Some people might not be able to tell the difference between reduced fat milk and whole milk in their drink, but someone with an almond allergy will sure as hell be able to tell if almond milk was used in place of whole milk…This could have consequences that go beyond just an annoyed customer.
7. EVERY. SINGLE. CUP CONTROVERSY.
You’ve seen the tweets; you probably know people who “officially” boycotted Starbucks when their holiday cups weren’t even red, or the design lacked a snowflake. I still see you on those winding lines, so clearly you aren’t as bothered by the cups as your tweets make you seem to be.
8. When people who are turned around talking to their friends don’t realize that the line just moved 20 feet.
Keep standing there. Maybe the gap in the line will become big enough to fit my annoyance.
9. The Pink Drink
Photo courtesy of @nonstopeats
I have been head over heels for the Pink Drink (and all the rainbow drinks on the secret menu) since they made their debut on Instagram about a year ago. But why does something so delicious have to be so annoying to order??? Can I have a strawberry acai refresher with coconut milk instead of water and strawberries? I feel like an a**hole just thinking about it.
10. The Iced Green Tea Latte
Yet another one of my former guilty pleasures. Why am I paying $5 for one cup — sorry, half a cup — of milk, ice and matcha powder when I can buy matcha from the grocery store and mix the drink myself as many times as I want to?
Gifs courtesy of Giphy and BeyonceGifs