The Awful Shades of Grey in 2016 Dating Culture

Ah, 2016. Ghosting. Girls automatically being ‘crazy.’ What a time to be alive isn’t it?

A formal definition of ghosting (thanks Urban Dictionary) is defined as:

(Verb): The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.

Why does this happen? Where is the maturity? Why is it that most guys automatically assume that every woman who talks to them wants to date them? Why is it that most guys assume that girls wander around in search of someone to ‘tie down’ or ‘cuff?’ (Most 2016 lingo, people, keep up). However, when people ghost, or assume you want to date them, it’s not you, it’s usually just them. 

We’re caught in the midst of what is considered “hook-up culture,” which is a term in any millennials 2016 vocab. It leaves us all confused, caught in a shade of grey that we didn’t ask for, because as crazy as society thinks 20-something girls are, we too, long for a straight up answer just as much as anyone else. Take this example: you think that you have found a glimmer of hope in the male society – you meet someone you get along with and keep in pretty frequent contact. Maybe you’ve hooked up a few times, maybe you know the same people, or have met their friends, and when things seem to finally reach some form of a routine, he suddenly needs a missing person order. But why?

“I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”Except…who said that you were in return? 

Suddenly your’re retracing everything you’ve ever spoken or texted, trying to read between your own lines to think if there was anything that ever even hinted at the fact that you wanted to actually date him. You have enough to worry about right now. The last thing on your mind was beginning a relationship. So how could it possibly be something you said?

Let me say, it’s never you that’s the problem. The same people that attempt to ghost you will usually be the same people using this lame excuse of a cop out that they didn’t want a relationship, because at the end of the day, they would rather avoid uncomfortable situations than be decent human beings. It takes at minimum, a minor level of maturity to understand the fact that matter how awkward a conversation might be, it’s necessary to have one.

But, regardless of the incompetence of the other person, what actually went wrong? It’s scientifically proven that a large majority of guys have some form of pride issues. They become so obsessed in the definition of their arm muscles that they oversee the fact that the world isn’t as head over heels with them as their moms are. They became so painfully self-absorbed to realize they’re not the only ones who want to live their own lives without a relationship, or that others, too, might also fear commitment. So, to every girl out there who has ever experienced a situation like this, keep in mind you (probably – I can’t speak on behalf of everyone because some of us are probably crazy) never said or did anything to give the wrong idea. 

If there’s such a thing as dating karma, using the “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” (as well as ghosting) are both like literally saying a goodnight prayer to the universe asking to screw you over in the future. 

So trust me, if you find this happening to you, don’t think about the situation too much. Simply take these humans for who they are, and peace them the hell out.

• 2016
• dating