Friends With Benefits in College

College is an interesting time for relationships, to say the least. Many people see it as four years to do whatever you want. Many people also see it as a time to meet their soul mate. Both are possibilities, but if we’re being honest, college is a time of casual relationships (and in college, the more casual, the better). A girls biggest mistake can be thinking that a f**k buddy can lead to more.  It can, but the odds are against you. The best way to deal with the casual relationship is to embrace it. You don’t have to like it, but accept it. The sooner you do, the better things will be.  

A casual relationship is the perfect solution to being a college girl. Girls enjoy sex just as much as guys do, but while a guy is applauded the higher his number is, a girl is labeled as a slut. No girl wants that. To avoid this, I suggest you find one guy you’re comfortable with to satisfy your needs, but realize that he’ll only satisfy your physical needs. You have girlfriends to turn to when you have emotional needs that require satisfying. Don’t cry on the shoulder of the guy you’re f**king. He won’t dump his feelings on you, so don’t do it to him.

The hardest thing for most girls to do is to control their jealousy, but with a f**k buddy it’s essential that you do. Jealousy is a sign that you feel like he’s your property or that he belongs to you and only you. Newsflash, he doesn’t and the only reason he’s your f**k buddy is because he doesn’t want to belong to anyone. You can’t expect him to not interact with other girls. After all, you’ll be interacting with other guys, won’t you?

Establish rules. It’ll keep the situation from getting messy (figuratively, of course). Decide when it is and isn’t okay to send each other a text. Is it a weekend only sort of thing or are the weekdays acceptable for seeing each other as well? Determine if you’re allowed to have sex with other people. You don’t want to be having sex with only one guy and find out that you’re one of five. It’s okay if you aren’t the only one, but you should know that you’re not.  It’s best that you establish what you like and don’t like in bed as well. Your f**k buddy is in your life for one reason – pleasure – so let him know what pleases you and more importantly, what doesn’t?

So you’ve established the rules and it’s great. Head to the next page for even more tips!

[pagebreak]

Quite possibly the most important aspect of having a casual relationship is having mutual respect for one another. You don’t have to love each other (duh, that’s the point of a casual relationship – no feelings) but you do have to respect each other. If you see him out and about, say ‘hi.’ If he doesn’t perform as well one time, fight the urge to tell all your girlfriends about it.  Respect him and he’ll hopefully respect you.

Stay protected. This cannot be stressed enough. Use condoms. Take the pill.  Just protect yourself. You don’t want to have to worry about when your period might finally come or what that mysterious itch down there might be. When you increase your sexual activity you’re also increasing the chances of an unwanted pregnancy. He’ll try to tell you how great it’ll feel without a condom, but girls, it isn’t worth the anxiety.  Take all worry out of your f**k buddy-ship.  It might be cliché (okay, it definitely is) but safe sex is the best sex.

Definitely don’t hook up with his bros. Doing so will open a can of worms that no girl is prepared to handle. Yes, you and your f**k buddy are just f**king but it isn’t so casual that you can hook up with his friends. His friends might be more attractive or more built than he is, but it goes back to having mutual respect for each other. If you hook up with any of his friends, it gives him the go-ahead to hook up with one of yours. Don’t give him that power!

Finally, if you even think you’re developing feelings, end it as soon as you can.  There’s other reasons to end a f**k buddy-ship such as it gets boring or it simply doesn’t please you anymore, but this is the biggest reason and it’s also the reason that requires definitive action. It’s possible he can be developing feelings too but if the signs aren’t there – more snuggling, extra kissing, hand holding, etc, then end it. Ending a casual relationship in this case can be the hardest thing to do but you know what’s even harder? Having sex with someone you have feelings for who doesn’t have them back and probably never will.