How I Feel About Finishing College

As I am beginning my last week as an undergraduate student at Suffolk University, I have felt a whirlwind of emotions as my final chapter in this story is being written, and the book is ultimately coming to an end. 

It is no secret that the Class of 2020, whether you are a senior in college or high school, has had an entirely different experience when it comes to school being canceled for the rest of the semester/year. Similar to everyone else, we miss our friends, our extracurricular activities, and even physically going to class (maybe), but on top of that we’re also dealing with missing out on major milestone events; last sports games, proms, and graduation ceremonies. 

For me, it all started when my Spring Break trip to Barbados got canceled due to the spread of COVID-19. I was incredibly sad and heartbroken to receive this news, but I knew it was a decision made to keep me safe and healthy. I would’ve never envisioned it escalating to the rest of my last semester being online and all the end of semester events canceled.

It was hard to cope with at first. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I did for the last time without even knowing. Sitting in a classroom at Suffolk. Giving my last campus tour. Attending my last Spring Ball. Running my last program council meeting – that one hurt the most. I have been in the club since the beginning of my freshman year and I spent the last meeting I attended completely checked out because I was stressed about a job interview I had after the meeting. If I only I knew. 

Then, the idea I feared the most became a reality – not being able to walk across that stage in my cap and gown on May 17th. However, there are not enough words to express my gratitude for Suffolk and their decision to postpone our ceremony to August instead of canceling it altogether.

Throughout my quarantine, I’ve learned that all of these feelings of sadness and heartbreak are valid. No matter who you are or what you’re going through, we are all allowed to feel like we missed out and that’s OK. 

In order to cope and heal, I’ve been trying to remind myself daily to see the good in what I do have. There are three things I want to share: 

• Don’t take anything for granted. Tomorrow is never promised or guaranteed, so try to be as present as possible in the things that mean the most to you. But, if you experienced something for the last time without knowing and aren’t happy with how you left it, don’t beat yourself up over it. This situation is far beyond anyone’s control.

• To Class of 2020 students everywhere, just because you may not get to walk across that stage, does not mean you didn’t accomplish something incredible. You did THAT. You earned that degree/diploma. And while we all deserve a ceremony and a moment of recognition, don’t let the lack thereof take away from your successes. Find a way to celebrate yourself and your achievements. 

• You are not alone! There were times where I’d get upset when the date of the event that was supposed to happen came up or if I was struggling to do my work at home, but then I took a step back to remind myself that I’m not the only one going through this; we are all going through something. Remember to reach out to others and to lean on family and friends during this time. Check-up on your loved ones, but don’t forget to also take care of yourself.

Though I may be finishing my time at Suffolk from my bedroom, I remember to be grateful for the experiences I was fortunate enough to have. I truly could not have asked for a better four years. I studied two fields that I’m passionate about and am excited to pursue work in. I learned how to be a strong, determined leader. I helped students fall in love with Suffolk the way I did. I traveled to new destinations. I published my work for the first time ever. I created lifelong friendships. I cried (a lot), but I laughed and loved even more. Nothing will ever take this time or those memories away from me. 

Though I am nervous, I know Suffolk has prepared me for the next chapter of my life. So, here’s to my new story starting. I don’t what that is yet, but I am excited to find out. 

• Class of 2020
• college graduate
• college graduation
• undergraduate