Since I am officially studying abroad during the Spring semester, I thought that it might be about time that I actually face the numerous anxieties that I have surrounding the situation. I am an anxious person already, but when I think about traveling to a different country (Italy), my anxiety starts to skyrocket.
- Flying
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Flying in an airplane is one of my biggest fears. I’ve never done it before, so I don’t know exactly what to expect or how I’ll react once I’m on it, but I’ve seen Lost, and I don’t feel good about getting on a plane. Plus, I have like two connecting flights, so I’m going to be on 3 different planes going there and back. No thank you.
- Eating
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This is a weird sort of fear I have. I know that my host family will provide two meals a day, and that’s what I eat in a normal day anyway. But, what if I get hungry during the day and have to get food somewhere else? I can hardly do that in English, in my own country, at my own job, let alone in a different country in a different language.
- Speaking
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That brings me to speaking. I’m not very good at speaking Italian. I can listen and understand pretty well, and then I can read and write pretty well, but speaking does not happen for me. Even when I know what I’m saying, if someone around me seems confused, I backtrack so quickly and start saying, “I don’t know, maybe” after everything. Therefore, I don’t know how I’ll be able to hold any sort of conversation with anyone, and that’s scary!
- Living
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Maybe this one would be better as “existing.” I’ve never had to exist in a place so different from what I’m used to before, and I’m not ready to face it head-on, yet. I leave in January, so I still have a little bit of time, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.
While this may seem pretty down, and a little depressing, I’m writing this to show that facing your fears isn’t easy. When people tell you that you can’t get over a fear until you face it, they’re right, but that shouldn’t pressure you to overcome your fears immediately. It takes time to find the root of your fear, and if you don’t ever want to, I can hardly blame you.