Ever since I was little, I was jealous of girls who had lots of friends, girls who were constantly going out, and always just seemed to have a person to talk to. I’ve always been popular, but I never had real friends. Little did I know this was actually a blessing in disguise. When you’re completely alone you learn more about yourself. You figure out a lot of things that you never really knew about yourself. Don’t ever think that since you don’t have friends you can’t be happy and live your life.
the transition
As a child, I always had my siblings and never really felt scared going into new things. Especially being the middle child, there was always another one of my siblings at the doctor with me, walking to school with me, or going on a roller coaster with me.
Then I went to high school.
My sister had just graduated and my brother was still in middle school, so I was facing new challenges alone. I had to do everything alone. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that having no friends is actually okay.
I have opinions
When you’re alone you learn new things about yourself that you’ve never really known. When put in group settings you can tend to just agree with the group with the mindset of “I just wanna be with friends, I don’t care what we do.” That is completely fine, but you don’t understand what you truly want. When you’re doing an activity with a friend you’re enjoying it is because you’re in the company of someone you like, right? That does not mean you enjoy that on your own. When you’re alone you tend to prioritize activities that you enjoy.
We all want friends
Because we all want friends, it’s very normal to feel lonely. When you’re alone there’s typically a negative connotation making you feel bad about it. But we need to realize that it’s actually very normal to feel alone.
Friends can make you feel alone
Just because you’re in a group of people does not mean you feel included. Sometimes you feel like you don’t belong. You feel like you’re in a group just to be with people, not because you want to be socializing.
Sometimes we even lose our passions. We become so fixated on our friends that we start to lose our own personal interests. This is not our friends’ fault, but ours. Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s happening.
that breakthrough moment
When you’re completely alone with no friends, there can be almost a certain kind of breakthrough, yes at times it’s hard, but also it can help you immensely in the end. You realize how capable of a person you are and realize the only thing stopping you is you.
Once you have this mindset, even when you go back to hanging out in groups and being with friends, you will have that peace. This is because when you have no friends you realize you have to do everything yourself. You may have a lot of fear or anxiety starting things on your own and be like “I’m too scared I need to do this with someone else” but you can. You’re wasting your energy on the anxiety of what could happen when you just need to do it.
Life can be very lonely. Doing things you enjoy doing can make it more bearable. Life is worth living with kind people who care about you. Sometimes it can take something really small to make it more enjoyable. It is normal to feel alone and like you have no one to talk to but don’t let that stop you from living. Never let your friends stop you from living your life. Your life does not depend on other people it depends on you. You have yourself and that is enough.