Let’s face it: there’s no such thing as a “perfect feminist.” However, sometimes it’s difficult to remember that. There’s always that girl online who posts more helpful resource links, that guy who talks confidently about current news, or even an adult in your life who knows about the history of the women’s movement. It took me a long time to realize that everyone retains different information and there is no way to be the “perfect feminist.” Instead of feeling frustrated when a friend is more knowledgable about a topic, I am inspired by them. I try to keep up to date with current news and remain informed, but my anxiety continues to tell me that other feminists are one step ahead of me. It’s time to talk about what role mental health plays in being a feminist.
The pressures of being committed to social issues are greater than ever before. With the introduction of social media, people began to feel pressured by their friends, family, and even enemies to seem “present” and aware of the news. Basically, if you posted about something, it was equal to showing that you cared about the issue. For some people, this pressure is no big deal, but as someone who suffers from anxiety, OCD, and depression, it is a big deal for me. My friends have told me that they love and appreciate me no matter what, but I still doubt my worth as a feminist. No matter how much research I do, the resources I post, and the information I share, I feel pressured to do more. Internet trolls don’t help with this either. For example, I dedicate part of my social accounts to sharing positive resources for asexual individuals. As someone who identifies as asexual, I know firsthand how exhausting it can be searching for helpful information about my identity. There’s almost nothing out there! However, I feel nervous every single time I post anything because I know how cruel people with internet access can insult individuals of the LGBTQ+ community.
Some days I wonder: does my anxiety make me feel like a bad feminist? Most definitely it does. However, my anxiety doesn’t define me. I am so much more than my worst days. I had a huge realization when I read Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay. It was like a light bulb went off above my head! Gay writes about the pressures of being the perfect feminist, and I relate to that so much. Reading Bad Feminist gave me the confidence I needed to be myself; maybe that sounds corny, but it’s true! I still do feel anxious when I talk on social media about social issues, but now I don’t let that anxiety hold me back. I continue talking and sharing information. Here are a few tips I use now whenever I start to feel like a “bad feminist” again:
1. I ask myself:Â is this issue important to me? Are there not enough people talking about it? Then I should start a conversation!
2. Do I know enough to talk about this minority group or gender identity? I can show support, but if I have questions, I should ask a friend first.
3. Was it stupid to post that article? Well, you never know. That post might have inspired another feminist!
If anyone is dealing with severe anxiety during this time, I strongly recommend these resources:
https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources/anxiety
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html