Looking back on orientation me to current me, I’ve changed a lot. Physically, I’ve lost twenty-ish pounds. I’m holding myself better too. Mentally I’ve learned I need to go easier on myself. I know I’m a perfectionist, but I need to try and let that go because perfection does not exist. I know now that the way I saw myself was not okay. I was self-conscious, heck I still am, but I am working on that day by day. I hold myself to such a high standard compared to everyone else and that is not okay. I talk about how every person is beautiful but in the next breath, I say how disgusting I am. I needed to change that, so I’m working on it. I surround myself with people who take my self-deprecating toxicity and fill me with positive energy, like a flower blooming through the ash of an explosion.
I make a conscious effort to compliment myself at least once a day and smile more. A smile can bring such joy to your life and laughter helps you live longer. I’ve grown my passion for theatre performance and production, my love for writing, and added my appreciation for music. I’ll most likely be adding a minor in music. I always knew I loved it but my best friend here, whom I call Re, has reignited my passion for it. I’m singing more and even started picking up my ukulele again; I’ll be bringing my keyboard next semester too. It’s refreshing to be changing into a better me, a me I want to be.
So yes, I’ve fallen behind at times, but I now know what I need to do next semester. I can do this. I will do this. But I won’t do this alone, I’m surrounded by support and love. I’ve already become a different person in fourteen weeks… but this is only the beginning. I have my whole life ahead of me. That means more mistakes, more challenges, more successes, and more changes. But most of all that means more growth. Everything happens for a reason and I can’t wait to see my reason. I can’t wait to see my blossom.