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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Susqu chapter.

If you have been on TikTok or been a consumer of anything pop culture this past summer, you would’ve seen Chappell Roan blow up this summer. She has taken the world by storm with songs like “Good Luck Babe” and “Causal” becoming popular on TikTok, which in turn, caused the demands for her to skyrocket. Performing for a massive crowd at the Governor’s ball and being moved to a headliner at Lollapalooza proves that crowds are buying what she’s selling. With this fame, her fanbase has grown and fans believe that they have the right to know everything about her. Chappell Roan doesn’t agree.

Beginning on Aug. 9, on TikTok, Chappell released a video on how she doesn’t like when fans approach her on the street. She continues saying that if she were a random stranger, you wouldn’t go up to her and ask for a picture or autograph. When that stranger said “no,” you wouldn’t be hurt or offended by that answer, because they are a stranger. She is a stranger, so why just because she has a public image, must she shift that to appease other strangers? The video has 2.1 million likes currently and the comments were turned off as she didn’t feel it was a group discussion. She continued on Instagram on Aug. 23 with a notes app statement to tell fans that she wants to create music and that’s why she is an artist, she is not on board with the parasocial relationships people have grown to expect she’d accept. Ending the post with the caption stating she isn’t afraid to express her boundaries and that if fans have a problem, to look inward on why they are offended.

The easiest way of explaining it is this. Chappell Roan is not her given name and instead derives from the drag scene that heavily influences her stage presence and music. She portrays the character of Chappell Roan when she is on stage as a way of expression and appreciation for the art form, but often people view Chappell Roan as being Chappell Roan. This person offers us a service, like your local baristas or the pizza delivery driver, the only difference being she does her service on a larger scale. She deserves the same privacy as Jane the Barsita or Timbo the Pizza Guy. Just because Jane makes you a coffee with a smile, doesn’t mean they owe you their number. Just because Timbo delivered you a pizza doesn’t mean he has to drive you down the street. People who work in a certain industry do not owe you anything. Celebrities don’t owe you a look at their lives or pictures on the street. If you were working a job and clients constantly reached out to you after you clocked out, or walked up telling you about your grueling nine-to-five while you were trying to get drinks with friends? Would you be annoyed? Would you feel exhausted? 

So why do you care so much that Chappell Roan doesn’t want to be your best friend? It’s because it has become so normalized to form parasocial relationships. In parasocial relationships, we feel like we have built this connection to this celebrity, even though it is one-sided. We believe that we have this connection or relationship because they give us access to their lives through social media and performance. Because we have this relationship, we want them to succeed and achieve their goals. So, when Chappell Roan tells us that we are not friends and we are strangers, the facade of this “relationship” breaks down and we are upset. We have invested mental effort in creating what we thought was reciprocated and are disappointed. It’s okay to be disappointed, but it’s not okay to cancel someone for setting boundaries. 

How do we break these parasocial relationships to avoid making people feel uncomfortable? Cleveland Clinic has two simple steps.

  1. Taking a break from social media.
  2. Focusing on the relationships that are able to be reciprocated.

Remove the idea that we must always be the first like and put effort into our friends on campus. Focus on the people around you and stop trying to be best friends with a megastar. That’s not to say you can’t consume their content. I will always have “Hot To Go” on repeat, but I know when the boundaries are crossed. These are people, and you have to remember that at the end of the day. They are there to entertain you while on the clock, but when they aren’t respecting that they deserve privacy.

Haley Lynch is a senior at Susquehanna University and acts as the President and Campus Correspondnt for HerCampus at Susqu. She covers topics ranging from pop culture to more serious topics that affect everyday students. Her work uses pop culture to understand deeper-rooted issues in society. Originally from Maryland, this is her second year at Susquehanna and she previously attended a different university in South Carolina. Since being at Susquehanna, Haley has done many things in varying roles and levels besides HerCampus. From executive roles with the Sex Ed club on campus to editor at Her Campus, she has kept herself very busy and on the go. All this is on top of creating her own art on the side. In her free time, you can catch Haley either watching Dance Moms (Team Chloe!) or picking up a new hobby. You might catch her dancing around her room listening to Chappell Roan or Boy Genius with her cat, Atlas, or sitting outside writing poems or stories. If you want to make a fast friend, simply reference Taylor Swift or ask her how the kids she babysits are doing and you will have won her heart.