I’m finally in the home stretch of my senior year, and I have been reflecting a lot more on my college journey. Two schools, five years combined, and a lot of different experiences both good and bad. They might not have been the best times, but I did learn a lot, and I wish I had learned a lot sooner. I thought to share so maybe you can learn sooner rather than later.
Read the Books You Are Assigned
As an English major, I am ashamed to say that at the beginning of my college journey, I was a Spark Notes pro. I thought the amount of readings and the time I had to do it was impossible, but it’s not. Once I transferred, I decided this was my second chance and I locked in. I found out I liked more books than I gave myself credit for and found some of my new favorite books like The Sweetness of Water. Even if I didn’t, training yourself to finish something you don’t enjoy is important for any career. Making yourself finish boring tasks is useful because sometimes you don’t want to finish a spreadsheet, but you have to do it. I didn’t want to finish Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, but I did because it was my responsibility. Even if it’s not your favorite thing, it builds that sense of responsibility that will push you in your work life.
You Aren’t Owed Closure
This was a hard pill to swallow, but it’s one that once you learn, it’ll make your life ten times easier. Bad things happen, friends aren’t always your friends, and people will hurt you so deeply. These things are inevitable, but when you dwell on it and try to fix or resolve everything, you will only stress yourself out. You can’t force someone to see your point of view. You can’t force someone to be your friend or like you if they don’t. It’s life and it sucks but learning to let things go will truly set you free. It’s okay to cry or be mad, but letting those things control you will hurt you. You aren’t owed a final conversation or a goodbye, learn to move on by yourself.
It’s Okay to Say No, But Don’t Make it Your Go-to Response
It’s a weird balance but once you find it, you will balance a social, academic, work, and personal life. Want to grab lunch? Not today. Easy as that. Your time is as important as everyone else’s. If people truly get upset because you set boundaries on your time, that’s their issue. We need breaks, but make sure to also say yes once in a while. Go outside your comfort zone and let yourself explore new opportunities. Don’t isolate yourself in comfort, because you never know what you will find out of your comfort zone. Again, balance is key. Let yourself take breaks but don’t use breaks as an excuse to isolate yourself.
Your Professors Are People To
Okay, I know how frustrating some professors can be. Sometimes it’s a class that you just have to take to meet a requirement, sometimes the class isn’t all that interesting. Sinking into the background is the easiest thing to do or maybe want to criticize the content, but don’t. Imagine you are talking to a friend about a TV show and they just tell you how boring or dumb it is, in some vain, you are doing the same thing. For so many professors, they have a passion in this subject or have worked to become experts, and it’s not their fault that you have to take that class. Be kind to the professor. It’s okay for a class to not be your favorite, I’ve had a bunch of classes that aren’t my favorite. You don’t need to openly be a jerk, plus being active and engaged in their class builds up a positive rapport. Who knows, being kind could get you a stellar letter of recommendation to master’s programs or jobs. But honestly, just be nice, why do you want to be known as the jerk who holds up class insulting a professor or their teaching? Save it for evaluation time.
At Least One Person Will Never Like You
Similar to closure, you are never going to be everyone’s favorite person, so stop trying to be, sincerely, a recovering people pleaser. In every room, someone is going to find you annoying or think your hair is stupid, there’s nothing you can do without compromising who you are deep down. When you truly love yourself and respect yourself, you’ll find you’re the happiest. I have changed my interest and appearance to be what I thought would make me liked before, you know what I was? Miserable. I was absolutely and completely miserable. Once I realized there will always be someone who doesn’t like me out there, I became a lot more comfortable being myself regardless of what others thought. I’m a loser, and I’m so okay with that because I like myself.
You Are Your Own Harshest Critic
Lastly, this is something you always hear and repeat like you get and understand it. It’s something I didn’t truly believe until just before writing this. I truly believe the essay I wrote for my midterm made no sense and prepared for the awkward, “Hey Haley, can we chat outside?”. I got it back, though, and received an A with a note praising my writing style, and it hit me. I spent so much time dwelling on things I could’ve done better but didn’t see the work I had already done. Sometimes we look at our mistakes as absolute reflections of ourselves, but we don’t see the successes we have in front of us. I have reread all of my works thinking how I would do it now, but let me tell you, some of the ones I hated, I can’t understand why now. You will always hate the things you do the most, but don’t let that hold you back. You are talented, so don’t let yourself believe otherwise.