We’ve all seen it. A harmless TikTok of someone listing off all their “icks” for a guy they used to date or an “ick” that completely ruined their date with someone. I, too, have seen a guy do something where I question if I want to keep seeing them or not. But in the hyper-judgmental world of social media, the funny “icks” have opened up a much more serious conversation.
The idea of an ick is simple: a mindless action, usually by a man, that turns a woman off of dating them (hooking up with, talking to, it’s 2023; do people even actually date anymore?). Examples include seeing their feet kick when they tread water, holding a glass with both hands while they drink, and using a straw; the possibilities are endless. The first usage of the word “ick” was used as a way for girls to get over past lovers by diminishing their importance. For example, “Forget about Brad. Just imagine him trying to pick up a piece of ice, and it keeps falling out of his hand.” This is used as a mechanism for a girl to have a quick laugh and move on from someone who may have hurt her.
While, contextually, this is good for the girl and seemingly harmless for the guy, TikTok has blown it all out of proportion as usual. There are seemingly endless videos that have whole lists of “icks” for men. While most are harmless- like the one previously mentioned- the basis of having rules for one to follow that aren’t just about an individual’s preference seems counterintuitive.
In recent years, men and women have become more open and honest about their feelings. With the rise of mental health advocacy and the idea of gender rules becoming less strict, it is ironic that Gen Z is attempting to place more invisible rules on gender. It is also backward that the actions that qualify as “icks” often mirror something that is more traditionally ‘feminine.’ An example of this could be, “It was such an ick. He got a pina colada at dinner,” which could parallel the “Why don’t you man up and order a beer?” mentality. By placing more rules about what is and isn’t acceptable creates a more hostile arena to “do gender” correctly. If something makes someone happy, why restrict them from being themselves? Why should people’s quirks be diminished as a segue to gain likes and laughs from TikTok? If someone has a long list of “icks” for their partners, it may just be that they’re an “ick” themselves.