Can’t catch a break
God just once I’d like to be happy
Just once I’d like to feel complete
Just once
but no
Just too much to ask for isn’t it
Too much to want to be happy
To be healthy
Not constantly in this weird limbo that I’m in
Where if I die cool
I live cool, I guess
But everytime I start to get better
Get happy
You
LAUGH
You take it away
Make me rethink every
Damn
Detail
What the actual f**k
I just want to be happy
I just want to love life
I want to
I want to
I really want to want to live
But I don’t
I…
I…
Can’t
Everytime I think life is worth it you
You throw a curveball
Break my heart even more
You’ve thrown more curve balls at me then the MLB has EVER seen
Breaking my spirits into a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle with no reference
My heart breaks more and more
Maybe that’s why I’m always so cold
I don’t have enough of a heart to pump my blood
That explains the constant pressure
Explains why I can’t breathe
Explains why I feel so dead inside
Cuz I’ve been broken enough times that my body has had enough
Enough of the bulls**t
Enough of the lies
Enough of the manipulation
The constant tricks that have been played
More tricks have been played on me than candy handed out on Halloween
I’ve heard more lies than an experienced spy has ever said
And I believe them
Every.
Single.
Damn.
Time.
Why?
Why do I?
Oh, cuz I want happiness and you tell me sweet little lies
Lies that make me weak in the knees
Make my heart skip a beat
A very dangerous action
One of those sweet little lies is going to kill me
A few almost have
Well less sweet and more scary
Not that it matters
A lie is a lie no matter how small
One pinprick lie could be the final straw
The lie that makes none of this life worth wanting to love it
Worth wanting to live
Worth wanting to be happy
To want to catch a break
A god damn break
Before this dam of emptiness breaks
Before night comes
Before all hope is gone
Before it’s too late to say goodbye….