Anxiety is something that I’ve struggled with for most of my life, yet at times, I still find it to be as debilitating as it was when I felt it for the first time in 5th grade.
Anxiety is nothing new to me, and I started therapy and the endless cycle of medications at a very young age. I’ve found that college is a great escape for me since I keep myself busy. I constantly fill my plate with as much as I can to distract myself from the feelings of anxiety, but at times, I feel that I set myself up for failure.
Recently, I’ve been suffering pretty badly with my anxiety, which has been hard for me to accept. I had a panic attack last week, which is something I haven’t experienced in years. The fear of that happening again has kept me wanting to stay in bed all day, but I know the only way to recover is to push past the fear.
Anxiety is caused by the fear of the unknown. I was thinking this past week about my journey with anxiety, and I truly don’t give myself enough credit for how far I’ve come. I think a lot of the time; we don’t celebrate small victories or look back on our lives and really evaluate how far we’ve come. Four years ago, I would have never thought I would be able to go to school halfway across the country, and here I am now, with a semester left in college.
So why is it so hard to face a setback in your mental health recovery? It’s difficult for me not to let my setback discourage me; since having my panic attack, I’ve felt extremely overwhelmed with stress. Something as easy as leaving my apartment to go to class has become difficult for me.
This week I’ve spent dedicated to trying to find ways to heal my mind. I’m an anxious person and I feel like I can never calm down. Therapists always preach the importance of practicing mindfulness and deep breathing techniques which have been proven to work but for me, I don’t find them enjoyable. When things are bad I pick them up again but once I feel better I slack off which always keeps me in the endless cycle.
It’s hard for me to calm my mind and focus on the present moment. Throughout this week, I’ve created some achievable goals for myself. I have always been a bit of a perfectionist and set high goals that were unachievable. Through creating these goals for myself, I’m holding myself accountable, even if it’s something as small as journaling for 10 minutes daily.
Acceptance is hard, but I’ve found that accepting that I’ve had a bump in the road has made all the difference for me. Life isn’t perfect, which is something else that I’ve had to accept. Anxious people have a negatively wired brain; unfortunately, this has been my worst enemy. Instead of looking for the good in situations, I’m constantly focusing on the negative aspects. To fix this, I’ve been taking every negative thought that I have and immediately changing it to a positive.
A gratitude journal is something everyone should own. Since purchasing one, I think it’s really helped me change my thought process and see the good in life. Something that I learned this week is that just because I’ve been struggling with my anxiety more than usual, it doesn’t mean that I haven’t made progress. A setback doesn’t weaken you. It makes you stronger moving forward.
I read something that said, “Moving forward, try to approach failures and setbacks with the mentality that there is a difference between the fact that you fell down and your ability to get back up.”
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference between what my anxiety is asking for verses what my body needs. I find a lot of the time, it’s my anxiety telling me that I can’t do something other than my body. Writing down the anxious thoughts I feel and really dissecting them has also been super helpful. Being able to look at the thought and break it down has allowed me to see how ridiculous they sound.
Here are some ways that I cope with my anxiety when things seem to be going south:
- Listening to calming music while going for a walk outdoors.
- Practicing deep breathing techniques (even though I hate doing them sometimes).
- Exercising; whether it’s yoga, pilates, running or cycling, moving your body can help to release some of those hormones.
- Distracting myself with a movie or book that I enjoy.
- Spending time with friends. Being around people who love and support you is essential when you aren’t feeling your best. It’s a great distraction and takes your mind off how you’re feeling.