When it feels like everyone around you is in a relationship and you’re the odd one out, the FOMO and loneliness can start to hit. But trust me—being single comes with its own set of perks. Having been on both sides, I can assure you that thriving solo is not only possible, it can be empowering.
With all the pressure and expectations from friends, family, and even social media, it’s easy to feel bad about being single. You might think you’re missing out or that something’s wrong with you for not being in a relationship. But instead of comparing yourself to others or focusing on what you don’t have, ask yourself: what do I truly want and need right now? There’s no need to rush or force a relationship just to fill a void. This is the perfect time to focus on what you can do for yourself. Embrace the freedom and independence that come with being single, and dedicate your time and energy to becoming the best version of yourself. The more you understand who you are, what you want, and what you need, the less likely you are to get caught up in confusion down the road or make choices that don’t serve you.
Don’t confuse loneliness with being single.
You’re not lonely because you’re single. The truth is, loneliness can happen regardless of your relationship status. Often, it’s less about who you’re with or not with—and more about the connection you have with yourself. It took me one relationship, a few situationships, and three years in college to realize this. I was constantly surrounded by people, yet I still felt… alone. I remember thinking during my freshman year, I have a boyfriend, friends both at home and at school—so why do I still feel like this? The problem wasn’t my relationships with others—it was my relationship with myself. I hadn’t yet learned how to truly enjoy my own company or find peace in solitude. Instead, I had let my identity become tied to the people around me, rather than nurturing my own sense of self. I figured out that I was scared of being alone because I never fully felt comfortable by myself. I’ve become a lot more independent since then and I don’t have the same feeling of needing to always be or do things with somebody.
So, if there’s one thing you take away from this, remember: you’re not alone. And it’s worth taking the time to figure out where your loneliness is really coming from and start getting comfortable with doing things on your own.
Date yourself.
Getting to know yourself involves some work–though it might sound strange, it’s actually one of the best ways to build a solid foundation for your future relationships. This is your chance to invest in doing all the things you enjoy and make you happy without being held back from another person. Just think about all the things you’ve been wanting to do–-traveling to your dream destinations, moving to a new city, or working to advance your career or accomplish personal goals. There’s never going to be another time where you are going to have this time truly to yourself. Explore the things that truly make you feel alive. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, exploring your creative side, or just spending a quiet evening reading, dating yourself is a way to gain peace and discover what makes you happy without any external validation. When you’re content with who you are, the right kind of relationship will naturally fall into place. You’ll have a clear sense of what you need and what you’re looking for, and that confidence will attract the right people to you. Trust me, your energy will speak for itself.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
When you’re single, it’s tempting to think that a relationship will magically solve your problems. We often find ourselves romanticizing the idea of a relationship when we aren’t in one. Relationships, while wonderful and fulfilling, come with their own challenges—compromises, time to balance, exhaustion, and external pressures to manage. On the flip side, being single offers the freedom to make decisions based purely on your own needs and desires, without having to factor in someone else’s schedule, preferences, or commitments. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side; being in a relationship can be just as complex as being single but in different ways.
Find company in other relationships.
It’s easy to feel like your friends in relationships are too busy or too “couple-y” to hang out, but true friends will always be there for you. Use this time to deepen your existing friendships. Don’t hesitate to reach out and make plans and talk about how you’re feeling. At the same time, take the opportunity to explore new connections—whether through a class, hobby, work, or event. The excitement of forming a new friendship can be just as fulfilling as starting a romantic relationship. Expanding your social circle not only helps you feel more supported, but it also reduces feelings of isolation. And who knows? These new friendships might bring unexpected joy, all while helping you learn more about yourself along the way.
Instead of wishing for a relationship, take advantage of making the most of your single era–a time for personal growth, for declaring your own independence, and for laying the groundwork for a future that’s aligned with your values. When you’re content and whole on your own, relationships are just an added bonus—they don’t define your happiness.