As a “young adult” I sit back a lot and think about my life in the past. Sometimes I think about my first college acceptance letter, sometimes I remember my last high school cheerleading competition, but a lot of the time I think about how absolutely boy crazy I was growing up. This wasn’t a new trend that surfaced in my teens. It started long before I even knew what a boy really was, and quite honestly I’ve realized that it all comes down to my insane need to feel loved.
Now don’t judge, but I’ve gotten myself into a lot of flings and relationships over the years, but it’s clear to me now that when they all ended, each and every one of those “breakups” prepared me for the real world in their own special way. They say every end brings new lessons (I don’t think that’s the real quote, actually), and here’s how they did it:
My first real breakup happened when I was only thirteen years old. I thought I was so unbelievably in love, and suddenly one day he dumped me for my best friend. I know a lot of you are probably thinking back to your first middle school breakup, and I’m sure this may sound familiar. I was devastated, and I really never thought I would love again, until a week later when I was in love with someone else. That breakup taught me that situations will throw waves into your life, but there is always positive coming. Even when you’re feeling so low, some happiness is always on the horizon, you may just have to search for it somewhere new.
The relationship I never thought would end clearly ended after a while; three years later to be exact. This was my first relationship that lasted longer than a few months, and I thought we lasted so long because we would be together forever. Maybe if I stayed near home instead of going to college 1000 miles away, it would have lasted, but I can’t waste my life thinking about it. This breakup prepared me for the surprises that life will always throw at you. Maybe one day I’ll be unexpectedly laid off, or I’ll be unexpectedly pregnant, but at least I’ll know to take every surprise with a grain of salt.
The college senior who broke my freshman heart never really cared about me, but of course I didn’t know that at the time. He just wanted to have fun, and I just wanted to “experience college”. Him leaving me when he got bored taught me that people in your life are going to use you for their own benefit without a single consideration of how you may feel in the end. These types of people are vile, and you’re better off without them, believe me.
The crush who “liked me a lot” but chose another girl hurt a little at first but didn’t really wind up mattering a week later. He was cool, but didn’t leave much of an imprint on my life. Us ending taught me that I’m going to do a lot of things in my life that feel like the most important thing in the world at the moment, but in a short time they may not even be a blip on my radar.
The ex who got into my head and made me feel like I was worthless if I didn’t have him beside me was the worst guy I’ve ever had in my life. He was terrible, manipulative, and just not the right person for me. It was an especially vulnerable time in my life, and that was apparently to his advantage. Finally gaining the courage to break up with him taught me that you can’t always please everyone. Sometimes you’re going to have to do things that others don’t agree with, but if it’s what’s best for you, then you have to do it anyway.
The one who ghosted me out of nowhere was never actually my boyfriend, but he absolutely felt like he was. We had sleepovers every night, stayed up watching movies and made scrambled eggs at three o’clock in the morning together. That was until he stopped responding to my texts out of nowhere. He completely “ghosted me” and sure that sucked, but that will happen a lot in my life. There will probably be a lot of jobs that I apply for that after college I never even hear a word back from, or questions in my life that probably remain unanswered forever, and I have to be prepared for that.
The guy I’ve known forever who everyone is secretly rooting for may not actively be in my love life, but there is always happiness in my thoughts surrounding him. He’s that boy-next-door who has truly been there forever. Of course we dated briefly, and then tried again, and different lives stopped it from working in the end, but that doesn’t mean it was wrong for me. Us “ending” taught me that you can’t dwell on the “what-ifs” in life. Sometimes you have to go with the flow and move on to things that are right in front of you.
The boyfriend that is still my boyfriend is so wonderful. I mean he’s truly great, and he is teaching me that it’s okay to enjoy the good times before they’re gone forever. Sometimes you have to stop worrying about the future and just live in the now, and this boy is teaching me that day after day.
So as you see, I’ve had my fair share of love interests ending in the last few years of my life, and of course I couldn’t touch on every single one of them, but if I could, I would have a lot more lessons for you. Even the sourest of breakups will teach you a new way to look at life, and while I don’t want to burst your bubble, you probably have some good ones coming in your future. Good luck ladies, and keep on learning!