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We all know the routine: A pap smear, a pelvic exam, a urine sample, a plan b emergency, or a birth control follow-up. We’ve all sat in the monotone waiting rooms with anxiety rushing around our bodies. The office tries to provide comfort, but the women’s health magazines, the floral and feminine images on the wall, and the noise machine simply cannot mask the judgment of the older women in the office. Finally, the dreaded name call that leads you into a sterile, cold room. On the four white walls is the anatomy of female genitalia, or the embryo process. Even the strange tools littered about the room, none of them very warm or inviting. Maybe you’re getting an ultrasound, the cold gel is uncomfortable, and the strange faces the tech makes are not really reassuring. The plastic draped over you with your feet in the stirrups feels like an open invitation to your privacy.
None of this seems positive, but is the OBGYN really so bad?
In this article, I will touch upon a negative experience followed by some warm advice from a nurse in the practice.
We’ve all sat in a room in wait to play the role of patient, only separated by a white lab coat and a plastic name tag. July 24th, 2023, I had one of my worst experiences. The natural arc of patient and provider is as follows: A patient enters an office with a request (pain, birth control, plan b). Whatever the reason, the provider listens to concerns, and both parties are equally heard and understood to come up with a solution. Friendly reminder: GENITAL HEALTH IS ALL ABOUT YOU! This model is followed for the most part, I say most part, because, for this particular appointment, this arc was simply thrown in the trash with my spirit and self-advocacy. This was a follow-up appointment from an ER visit regarding severe pelvic pain and abnormal uterine bleeding. My main focus was the excessive bleeding and pain. None of which were apparently related (WRONG). The doctor’s main concern was stopping the bleeding, and she told me it was normal for the use of birth control I was on at the time. (I was on the patch skipping the “sugar pill” week in a continuous prevention cycle, meaning I didn’t get a period unless I wanted to. I was required to get one every 3 months.) My provider encouraged a change of birth control. The top three are an IUD (intrauterine device), birth control OTC (a daily pill), or nexplanon (an estrogen implant that is injected into the arm.) Of course, she urged me to use an IUD. I told her I wasn’t sure. We agreed to measure my cervix so I could make a choice. I couldn’t stand it; I was in tears, and I was in so much pain. I told her I was done. She said she knew I could do it, but I kept telling her I didn’t want to. I should’ve picked up on the first red flag; she dismissed me and wouldn’t let me get a word in about my symptoms. She rushed over what I had to say. She stripped me of any self-advocacy. Going back to the patient-provider arc, it was totally diminished and non-existent.
Not every appointment is like this. I contacted one of the RN’s named Jessica at Andover OBGYN in Massachusetts (where I’m from), and she gave me her best advice, the process of birth control insertion, and her favorite part about working in the field.
I asked Jessica RN why college women feared the office so much. She told me that there are a large variety of reasons, like the concept of the physical exam and the nature of the work done in the office, the unknown of concepts and solutions, and the fear factor of getting bad news as well as the privacy, where someone else is viewing us over and analyzing it. It seems terrifying.
According to RN Jessica, the top three methods of birth control (as mentioned earlier) are an IUD, a birth control pill, and Nexplanon. I asked her to walk me through the process of birth control discussions and insertion. Her advice is to “talk about the process with peers who have gone through the process” as well as “staying off the internet,” as most fear and conspiracies come from Google. She also follows the saying “you are in charge” of what happens at your appointment, and she recommends bringing a friend as a support system.
The steps of an IUD according to a professional:
- Consultation to discuss risks and benefits
- A physical exam
- Urine test (for pregnancy and infection)
- Measuring the cervix
- Insertion
The whole process, from start to finish, takes 3-5 minutes; there is a chaperone in the room to help with patient advocacy and support. The worst part is cramps. Prior to the process, they give you ibuprofen to help with the cramping and uncomfortable feeling.
Lastly, I asked RN Jessica what her favorite part about the practice is, and this is her answer:
“I like being able to relate to people.” She also said she likes to be a “comfort zone” for patients.
All in all, every experience will never be the same. Take this from my article: DO NOT GOOGLE, bring support, and become informed with your provider about details.