Lessons from Independence

For many students, college is the first experience of true independence in their lives. It is a time when you begin to learn more about being on your own and what makes you happy. The college experience has taught me that my initial plan for myself was not what I truly wanted and that I don’t need to please everyone around me to have worth. 

What you learn while in college varies for everyone. Some people have more financial help from their families than others, while some have already been self-sufficient before entering higher education. No matter where you fall on this scale, the college experience has something to offer everyone who chooses it.  

A lot of us go to college with a somewhat elaborate life plan we have laid out for ourselves. If you’re like me, you thought you knew exactly what you wanted and how to attain it. These plans can sometimes be a great thing. But oftentimes, they hold us back from accepting that we may have goals and desires that we still need to discover. We are constantly changing, and our objectives change with us. Therefore, it is important to have an open mind and accept when the things we want may not be what we expected.

The biggest goal I had for myself when I started college was that I was going to study science, get a PhD, and eventually do lab research. I was interested in the field and the benefits I could get from it, but I was unhappy with my classes and disliked working in my labs. I couldn’t see myself in the job I had planned for, and yet I was convinced it was the right path for me. I had not realized it at the time, but those plans didn’t only stick with me because of what I wanted. In fact, a huge reason why I was studying science was that there were people in my life I was trying to please. I was so used to being the girl that followed the rules and took the cautious road in life. That was how I defined myself. It wasn’t until I got on a college campus 3,000 miles away from anyone who understood me, that I finally realized I was unhappy with my plans. I realized that whatever path I chose, the people I was trying to please wouldn’t have to live with my choices every day; I would. So why should I make all of my decisions fit their view of me? I realized that my passions were more important to me than other people’s expectations and that I wasn’t being unwise or selfish to value them. 

That realization has led me to where I am today. I have a double major in English and Writing, and I can do what I love every day. Choosing my own path has made me a lot happier and helped me grow a lot. 

However, choosing passion over practicality is not the right choice for everybody. It depends on what you value. I value passion far more than the most logical choice in front of me, but that is just based on who I am. There are plenty of students who see more value in a major that they know will lead to success and stability. That is also a great goal and one that is a smart choice for a lot of people. In college, you learn to tailor your goals to your values and not to anyone else’s. Learn about who you are and what you want, and tailor your decisions and experiences to whatever that may be. 

Another lesson that I have learned in college so far, which has stemmed from my realization about my change of major, is that I do not need to please everyone around me. I do not need to constantly apologize for anything or stress myself out because of what other people might think of me. I don’t always need to be liked by everyone or pretend to be someone I am not so that I make sense to the people around me. It is okay to say no and put my own needs and desires above other people’s. 

College has taught me to be unapologetic for who I am and what I want and to chase the things that make me the happiest. The independence of being on your own on a college campus can be scary at times, but it can be an extremely rewarding experience if you keep an open mind and put yourself first. 

• self growth