In the complication of love and relationships, the act of going back to an ex has become a cultural phenomenon. I always see on social media that they will always come backā€¦ well, don’t let them. A complicated cycle of breakups and makeup holds many people captive, unable to break free from familiar but toxic relationships. In this article, I examine the reasons behind the “going back” culture and recommend a shift towards embracing personal growth and independence and seeking someone healthier.
The Attraction of Someone Familiar:
It is not complicated to see why individuals may feel drawn back to their exes. In spite of the reasons for the breakup, familiarity makes it tempting to return to an old relationship. The important thing is to recognize that our comfort zones don’t always allow us to grow. Also, just because it is comfortable does not mean it is safe. Do you really feel safe in the arms of someone who purposely hurt you and did not see your value? Great points here!
Learning from Past Mistakes:
Every relationship offers lessons that help you learn what you want and do not want in a future relationship. Instead of revisiting the past, it is key to think about the reasons for the breakup and use those insights to evolve as individuals. This self-discovery is an essential jump towards breaking free from the “going back” cycle. Use this as a learning experience to have a better love next time!
Building Independence:
Constantly going back to an ex can hinder personal growth and independence. No one can love you if you cannot love yourself. Taking time for self-reflection and investing in personal development can lead to stronger, more fulfilling connections in the future. You are your own person, and you do not need a man or woman to feel fulfilled.
The Danger of Toxic Patterns:
Reminder: your soulmate would never treat you like this!!!! If a guy or girl has hurt you in the past, most likely, he/she knew it was going to hurt you. They committed that action knowing the consequences of hurting you and did it anyway. Going back to someone who doesn’t respect you enough to not hurt you is only going to start toxic patterns. Stay strong and end the toxic cycle you find yourself repeating.
Setting Clear Boundaries:
Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in preventing a relapse into old patterns. This includes blocking them on all social media if you need to. If you have communicated clear boundaries and they continue to not respect them, block them. Out of sight, out of mind. Most importantly, resist showing up to places you know they will be at. If they are at your local bar, go to a different one!
Breaking free from the “going back” culture requires a lot of work, including self-reflection and a commitment to personal growth. Understanding the patterns you keep falling back into is your first step to healing. It’s time to let go of the past and pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling connections in the future.