Life has its ways of teaching us lessons and giving us advice. Sometimes, it does it the hard way, like when we failed at something that we wanted badly, and other times as a nice subtle hug, like someone giving us advice. We all experience life differently. I think this is a statement that is sometimes forgotten as we live our day-to-day lives. We forget that the same friends we see every day experience the same things differently, even our siblings. Isn’t it wild? How the same person you might spend most of your time still thinks and feels completely different from you. An example of this is my roommate and I. We have been living together for almost four years now and get along really well, but when we are both sitting in the living room, we experience it differently. You see, I love sounds and noises, and she loves quiet, so even though we are doing the same thing, eating and sitting, my brain is going crazy about the silence, and she feels at ease.Â
As humans, we like to socialize, whether a lot or just a little and speak to other people. We tell these people different parts of our lives and our perspectives of the world. But we aren’t ever truly honest with every person we talk to, and most of the time, we don’t do it on purpose. This is why I say, “write a letter to yourself.” Social media tells us to have self-care time, and most of the time, we see influencers or celebrities doing skincare routines, shopping, yoga, or going to restaurants. I am not saying that we shouldn’t do these things, but sometimes all we need to do is spend time with ourselves, which can mean grabbing a notebook and writing or just sitting comfortably and thinking about ourselves and how we are doing.
Most times, we rely on others to check on us and see how we are doing. Yet we forget that the best person to check on you is YOU. You know yourself the best; you know the feeling you get when you like or hate someone or something, and you know everything about yourself better than anyone else. So, write to yourself and talk to yourself about your day, week, and month. Remember the moments you felt sad and happy, what made you laugh this week, or what made you mad or confused. Be honest with yourself because there is not a mask to hide yourself from you. You might find yourself missing yourself or a part of yourself during that time. Maybe due to time and tasks, we forget things we like and enjoy. For example, the part of me that is a scientist missed last summer when I had a lot more to do for research instead of always studying. The non-student me misses watching shows all the time and enjoys the free time, and the student me loves learning about invertebrates. So again, find a good spot and spend quality time with yourself. With the constant challenges and changes we face, stopping for a few minutes to check in and encourage yourself could maybe even help with your mood or stress. Sometimes, all we need to hear is “You got this” or “You are doing well,” but we seek these affirmations from others and not within us.Â
You are (or should be) your biggest supporter in life. Tell yourself it is okay to feel lost, excited, happy, and sad. Learn how different moments in life make you feel and what you like or don’t like. The more you learn about yourself, the more you will know what you want to do in the future, where you want to go, who you want to date, and how you want to live. Also, remember that every day, you learn something new, and you even change a little every day. So, why don’t you try something new? Try spending time with just YOU and thinking just about YOU. And if you are like me, don’t or try not to feel guilty about it. It is okay to think about YOU and not about the other hundred people in your life. It is not bad to do so, but most of the time, we center ourselves on thinking only about others and how others are doing rather than ourselves. Therefore, sit and think about YOU. Remember:
“Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love”- by Brene Brown