After a two-year break, I’ve returned to college. Some implications include pressure, anxiety, and readapting to a familiar yet different lifestyle. I feel like a freshman who just got into college all over again. In fact, I didn’t remember how much coursework I used to have for my classes. For the first couple of weeks, I felt like I couldn’t keep up with everything, there was too much going on at once. But there are a few things that are hardest for me:
All my friends have already graduated from UT
I started attending college in Fall 2017 and had some good friends. However, they finished their studies during the time I was away. Or transferred to other universities so we can’t see each other often. Now, I have to make new friends, and that’s a source of frustration. I’m usually shy with strangers, and now, wearing masks creates another barrier in communication. (Not that I’ll stop wearing them).
Being away from home
I have studied abroad many times before, but I haven’t been home for such a long time since 2015. For that reason, I readapted to living in Brazil and having my family around. Without that, I constantly feel like I’m all alone. Sure, there’s WhatsApp and FaceTime, but it’s not the same thing.
Feeling pressured about the future
Being a senior, you feel pressure coming from all sides. Be it about jobs, living situations, relationships, or being an adult in general. I know that my loved ones want what’s best for me, but sometimes their questions make me even more confused about the future. At the moment, I don’t know what’s next in most areas of my life. That’s why I’m figuring out what I want for myself and my life as a whole.
Time management
For the past two weeks, time has gone by way too fast. It was like everything was happening at once, and things were out of my control. Therefore, my time management skills weren’t the best. In Brazil, my routine was waking up at 6:30 am (on weekdays) and being productive. Being back at UT, I feel pressured to go back to that. However, I’ve been waking up later and don’t have a fixed routine yet.
My dorm room
I’m currently living at the Barrymore hotel, and I like it a lot. I love walking, and the routes are very scenic, which is a plus. Waiting for shuttles isn’t as bad as other students make it out to be, and my roommate is super sweet. The downsides are that the building is not exactly on campus, the wifi is terrible at night, and the room keys stop working all the time.
Foundations
This year, one of my biggest goals is to build better foundations and implement healthier boundaries. So, I’m revisiting things like my fitness plan, what I eat, how I interact with people, and how I treat myself. I’m also letting go of what no longer serves me through therapy sessions. As soon as I landed in the US, I went back to my old habits and quickly realized I had to change them. From now on, I want to practice healthy habits that I can keep in the long run.
Fortunately, I can feel myself getting my groove back, but It’s going to take a lot of work to feel on top of things again. One thing is for sure: I’ll work hard to make that happen, and it’ll all be worth it in the end. Tampa already feels like home again, so I’ll enjoy my time here even if it’s all by myself. This is my last year of college, and I’ll make it count.