1) The words ‘subtle eye-contact’ are not in your vocabulary.
The guy across the room is most definitely eye candy, so when your friends tell you to take a peek you end up immediately turning your head 180 degrees and making a sound that is a combination of a snort, giggle, and a wolf howling at the moon. At this point not only did he notice you staring, but your cheeks become so hot and flushed that you think you’re about to die of embarrassment.
2) If you actually can summon enough courage to approach the guy you’re eyeing, you are either tipsy or embarking on one of the bravest journeys of your life.
Every step you take closer to the stud you’ve set your sights on makes your stomach churn more and more. But then finally you reach his vicinity, and you realize you have no words. So that’s great.
3) Small talk is actually the worst.
Your friends think your quirkiness is funny and endearing. However when flirting with the apple of your eye (that you just met), being adorable is the last thing you want to come across as. So in an attempt to exude the sex-appeal of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, you laugh like a hyena and touch his bicep unnecessarily.
4) What you think looks like delicately batting your lashes actually looks like you have severe astigmatism.
The hottie standing before you is giving you all of his attention and as excited as you are, you know you have to stay cool and sultry. So the obvious thing to do is bat your eyelids like every mascara commercial has told you to do, except ‘Maybe Its Maybeline’ has totally deceived you because all the guy is thinking is ‘Maybe she should get her eyes checked.’
5) You have a hard time telling if he’s about to kiss you or reach for the drink behind you.
He’s leaning in and your eyes are as wide as deer’s in headlights. You try to follow his eyes to see where he’s actually looking until you finally decide to cut the tension with a horrible joke that completely ruins the moment.
6) Your strip-tease is not so much Burlesque as it is a grown woman who got lost in her sweatshirt.
As if being alone with the statuesque-Adonis isn’t hard enough, you have now made it to the bedroom and all you can think is, ‘What am I doing?’ and ‘How did I get here?’ So you frantically try to get comfortable but you just look like a clumsy idiot. But who knows, maybe he thinks your awkwardness is cute!