This past weekend on October 28th, 2023, we truly lost a comedic and living legend. Matthew Perry was an American-Canadian actor, author, and philanthropist who was known for his brilliant role and comedic playing Chandler Bing in the hit TV Sitcom series running from 1994-2004 and being an advocate for struggling alcoholics.
But Matthew Perry was much more than that.
In an interview on the “Q With Tom Power” Podcast, Perry opened on how he wanted to be remembered after his passing. “When I die, I don’t want ‘Friends’ to be the first thing that’s mentioned,” Perry continued. “I want helping people to be the first thing that’s mentioned, and I’m going to live the rest of my life proving that.”
Perry was also a recovering alcoholic that had been in rehab 15 times and attended over 6,000 alcoholics anonymous meetings in his lifetime. On November 1, 2022, Perry released a personal memoir titled “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing.” Perry’s book talked about his life and his struggles with addiction and sobriety. Perry was said to have been clean for 18 months at the release of his book and wanted nothing more than for his memoir to help others that had been in a similar situation. Perry had planned to create an organization to help those who suffered from substance abuse and issues. From 2013 to 2015 Perry even turned his Malibu mansion into “The Perry House” which he transformed into a sober living facility that helped men who struggled with addiction. Although Perry was an alcoholic, he never gave up. He lived his life selflessly trying to help others’ sobriety and to become more knowledgeable in the disease that is alcoholism. He wanted to be remembered as somebody who “lived well, loved well, and was a seeker.” Perry truly was a light to this world, and a friend to all.
Growing up during the 2000’s, there was truly one thing that I could always rely on for happiness at every given moment. Chandler Bing. One of my closest family friends introduced me to the phenomenon that was Friends, which I will forever be grateful for. I remember being 10 and rushing home from school every day and planting myself on the couch for two hours from 3-5pm until the theme song of king of queens would roll around. This stayed as part of my routine until I was in high school. My first few nights after I moved to college were filled with sleepless nights of anxiety, but I always knew I could turn on the TV and find Chandler Bing cracking some sort of joke and everything would be right again. These people I watched on a screen became my friends; they became my family; they became a safe and happy place for me. Chandler Bing was my ultimate comfort character and would make me laugh until my stomach hurt. Before I was even old enough to understand half the jokes that were made on the sitcom, I was adapting to their mannerisms and lingo. When the news about Matthew Perry broke I was devastated, I felt like I had lost a friend that I had never even met. I know it may seem silly to feel so emotionally connected with a character or person you’ve never met but the weird thing about grief is that it is not about proximity, it is about the memories that a specific person or character has had on your life. The memories that Chandler Bing has had on me, and countless amounts of people around the world will forever live on.
“There’s nothing better than a world where everybody’s just trying to make each other laugh.”
-Matthew Perry
In memory of Matthew Perry, always remember to make someone smile with a joke or lend a hand to someone in need.
If you or anyone you know are struggling with substance abuse, please call 1-800-662-4357.
If you or anyone you know are grieving and are in need of a grief hotline please call 979- 845-2700.
Link to Matthew’s Book https://www.amazon.com/Friends-Lovers-Big-Terrible-Thing/dp/1250866448