Boot Chaser: a term commonly used by Aggies to refer to someone who is attracted to a Texas A&M Corps of Cadets member.
College is a time of embracing freedom and the opportunity to explore many new things, especially relationships. For an Aggie, this may mean that you fall for an individual in uniform…but be aware that a life in service might be just around the corner for your partner. If you are a boot chaser, or are slowly realizing you may be one, there are some things you should understand and consider before fully embracing this title.
1. Time
One of the main things you will notice while exploring this new experience is that time is now even more valuable than it once was. Before your partner enters boot camp, time will feel as if it is going as fast as ever, and for once you will wish it would slow down. The best thing that one can do in this situation is embrace the time you have together as much as you can: go out, stay in, do your favorite activities together, revisit that special place again– do whatever you need to do to feel as if the time you have together is not wasted.
After your partner has completed boot camp, there is a possibility that you will be able to see them–depending on where you live and the current procedures for the base they are on. If you do not live near the base and cannot see them at their boot camp graduation–Facetime will be your best friend (sorry). There are also many different rules based on where your partner is in their training. Your partner may be able to request a weekend off or even extra time off for holidays. However, things will get easier as you and your partner navigate schedules and the distance between you.
Make time to see and talk to each other, whether that be in person, through facetime, or through text/phone call. Even five minutes of interaction will make the biggest difference.
(These experiences may depend on your marital status and availability.)
2. Communication
Communication is a tricky skill to master in a relationship. Some people are easily available to communicate their wants and needs and some aren’t. However, if you are thinking about continuing your relationship with someone committed to the military, both of you will need to work hard to learn what works and what can be improved. Learning to communicate with each other requires both of you to be uncomfortable, vulnerable, and open. The distance between you two will be extremely tough, but if communication is mastered and perfected, it will make the time apart worth it in the end.
If the two of you are experiencing long-distance for the first time, communication will be your best friend. Learn to identify and express what you want and need from each other and the relationship. There will be positive and negative times within the relationship that need to be addressed, however, do not push these conflicts aside! Set boundaries and make compromises where you can. There is a reason why you hear the phrase “communication is key,” because it truly is!
3. FUTURE
If you are in school, committed to a job elsewhere, or simply are just not ready to get married, you may be living away from your partner. During this time away from each other, it is easy to get caught up in all of the negatives of the military commitment that your partner made. However, your partner also made a commitment to you. The best thing to do during this time is to remind yourself of what the future holds for the two of you.
Two things you can do:
- Count down the days until you will see each other next
- This could be two weeks from now or two years from now, but, watching the number get lower and lower will help. However, do not let the future take away from your enjoyment of the present.
- Make a bucket list
- This is a fun way to think about being together again. Write down all of the things you would like to do or experience with your partner. This bucket list will allow you to feel a burst of positivity and let your creativity shine.
While many aspects of dating someone in the military seem negative, your partner’s career does not define them, nor does it define you. If you are boot-chasing, understand that there is much more to a military relationship than just a uniform. The choice is yours…good luck and gig ‘em!