This year has been a year of reflection, a year of cutting out the negativity, and a year of working on bettering myself. Some may say I’m somewhat of an old lady. However, I see it as prioritizing myself and my body’s needs. After three long years of partying and getting out all of the crazy, I have finally chosen peace. From ending friendships to no longer going out every weekend, my life has been a year of so much change.Â
This change first started in my life after a college friendship came to an end. I have always been a person who let people do or say what they wanted and just ignored the bad. After this, my now ex-friend started talking poorly about me, and after months of arguing back and forth, I finally decided to choose peace. I don’t need anyone in my life willing to talk about me like that. We aren’t in high school anymore. Social standards aren’t a thing. Though she is still someone I have to see from time to time, it is okay for it to be known that we don’t like each other, that we are not friends anymore, and that we should still be civil. Now, I’m sure there are going to be people who think that it might be childish. However, I see it as CHOOSING MY PEACE. It is my life. I get to choose what I want to put up with. I won’t mean girl her; I will just keep our interactions to a minimum. Ultimately, this friendship came to its final close right before my twenty-first birthday, at my choice, and she blocked me on everything. But once again, this could be her way of choosing her peace.Â
Most people, I’m sure, tend to go crazy after their twenty-first birthday, but this is when I wanted to start prioritizing my life. At this point, I had one more year until “adulting”, and I wanted to learn a routine. I wanted to learn that it is okay to go out and have fun with your friends without being blackout drunk. A few drinks will suffice. How do I get back from the bars and still manage to do my entire skincare routine? How do I take the time on the weekends to prepare for the upcoming week versus drinking throughout the weekend… I do realize this is starting to sound like alcoholism, but it is college life, I think. Or what is expected of college life. I just don’t want to fight my body anymore, telling me I need rest at the fear of missing out. I want to take care of myself. I want to have wholesome early mornings. Not the late, meaningless nights.Â
In the summers in the past, I spent every week at a pool drinking or going on random adventures to random towns in Texas with one of my roommates. However, this summer, the majority of my friend group went home for the summer, and I wanted to learn how to be okay with being alone. I feel like being alone has such a negative effect on some people. I was one of those people. But it is OK to be alone. To sit in the silence. This was one of the most complex truths I learned this summer. I am a people person. I will always be a people person, but sometimes, being alone is good for my soul. I am allowing myself to just think with nothing to bother me. I want to have my opinions without someone else’s views stepping in, telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. What they think is good for me.Â
You are the only person who knows what you need. It is okay to tell people no. You aren’t missing out on anything different by staying in this weekend versus going to the bars. Your true friends will not be any less of friends to you just because you don’t want to party every weekend. Make your interactions with people more intentional. Just choose your peace and choose the life you want to live.Â