Coming into college for the first time is scary, but exciting because you’re getting a fresh start and a chance to have a mini start-over with your life. Personally, I was very involved in high school and had a great resume, so, I was sure I would get into something cool.
Well here I am, 10 rejection emails later, and I can tell you that it does indeed suck.
This whole ‘rejection phase’ of my life took place over last semester, the beginning of my freshman year, and has recently stopped in the middle of my second semester of college. My thought process throughout each application and rejection varied. I want to walk you through my story in detail. P.S- Don’t worry, I eventually learned how to bounce back from rejection. :)
Freshman Leadership Organizations: Rejections #1-5
Ah FLO’s…an A&M student’s first introduction to which organizations the university has to offer. To me, FLO’s were these elite groups that only the ‘cool kids’ got into and I knew some people from high school that were in them. With the help of some mentors, I poured my heart and soul into 5 applications and turned them in during my first month or so of school! I’ve never been concieted, but I felt confident. I thought I had a decent chance of getting in because of my resume. After waiting, the rejections came in and I was sad. Not mad or any other emotion, simply sad. I took it super personally and for the first time, I thought that maybe I wasn’t good enough to get in. It seemed like people getting into their FLO’s were all over my Instagram timeline and like everyone got in except for me. These were my first rejections and I got them all at once, so It was a little bit of an emotional overload and I vowed that I wasn’t going to apply for anything else because I didn’t want to face even more rejection.
After a little while of processing and building up more confidence, I decided that I would apply for one more thing this semester.
Religious Organization: Rejection #6
Applying for this was a really big step for me because I have never been really sure about my faith, but after the loss of a family member, I knew what I believed in and it became very important to me. I had been involved with this organization in high school, but I wanted to be a counselor to mentor kids like me, who just needed somebody to be there for them. I used a whole weekend to finish my application and never told family or friends that I applied just in case I got rejected again. I didn’t want to seem like a total failure to the people I loved.
I took the rejection from this really hard and I was sad, but this time I also felt cheated. It did take another huge blow on my self esteem, but I felt like they rejected me on purpose. All I could think was, “Who does that?!”, but all of this honestly could’ve just been me trying to make myself feel better and less like I wasn’t good enough.
Again, I vowed to never apply for anything again, but I’m not good at remembering why I shouldn’t do something so of course, I did it again.
Women’s Organizations: Rejections #7-9
My hopes for the 3 women’s organizations I applied to were almost non-existent. It was more of a ‘I don’t care, but I’m going to apply anyways and see what happens’ kind of thing. The rejection from these was the easiest by far (probably because of my lack of emotion towards them), but regardless, it still hurt. At this point, I had lost hope of making any friends besides my roommates, and I just thought I was going to go through college and have no fun. That is the part that sucked the most. Not the feelings of rejection or low self esteem, but the thought that I wouldn’t be able to make friends if I wasn’t involved in anything.
This time, I knew I was going to apply for more things because I felt like I couldn’t give up and my flawed logic still had me thinking that I wouldn’t make friends if I wasn’t in anything.
Leadership Organization: Rejection #10
Applying for this was my last push and I was really set on getting into this, but alas I did not. This time I wasn’t sad, I was mad. I just couldn’t believe that now it had been 10 organizations that didn’t see my worth and didn’t want me! I just wanted to be in one thing that you had to apply to get into, so it feels like I accomplished something and that I was going to get to be around people that shared something (literally anything) in common with me. I was at the point where I wanted somebody (again, literally anybody) to let me in their organization.
In the end, I realized that my worth is not found in organizations around campus and that I am much more than what I’m involved in outside of school. Throughout the time I got those 10 rejections, I learned a lot about myself and I gained pretty decent coping skills. This time helped me grow as a person and it more importantly, kept me humble. I made friends in classes and even off of Twitter (pls still remember stranger danger) and I finally understood that I didn’t need to be in a club or anything to make the genuine friends I had hoped to meet. Eventually, I ended up getting into 2 organizations that I really love and I have met people I really care about. I get to express myself and write articles for Her Campus, which I never thought I would have the confidence or skills to do, and I get to help freshman in their transition into college. After everything, one question really sticks with me: Would I go back and do this all over again? Honestly, I wouldn’t. I gained more from my 10 rejections than I could have gotten in any FLO, women’s organization, or any other club and I am very happy with the way my freshman year has turned out.