In today’s world, the term ‘anxiety’ has been thrown around so often that sometimes it loses its meaning. While hundreds of millions of people have been diagnosed with anxiety, it’s easy to confuse normal nerves with crippling anxiety since it seems to be flourishing in our society.
being Nervous vs anxiety
When a hard test is creeping up on you and you’re focused on getting a good grade, it’s normal to become nervous to the point of it feeling like anxiety. However, the difference between being nervous and having an anxiety disorder is that anxiety is something you deal with on an ongoing basis. Although someone may experience the same symptoms – sweating excessively, difficulties concentrating, shortness of breath, etc. – the distinct dissimilarity between the two is that nervousness is caused by something while anxiety is always there. That’s not to say that anxiety is always there and debilitating; like most things, it comes and goes in waves.
Growing up with a therapist
I’d like to say that, for the most part, your parents’ careers don’t really interfere with your daily life, unless you’ve been raised in the military. Most of us only hear about our parents’ jobs if we ask about their day. For as long as I can remember, my mom has always been a therapist. Three times a week, she spends hours with people and helps them in various ways. Unfortunately for her, her job doesn’t end when she returns home.
As a sensitive and emotional person, things easily affect me and can disturb my daily life. Of course, after my mom would return home from an emotionally and mentally draining day, I’d run to my mother and complain about my trivial issues. On top of my mom being a therapist, she’s incredibly smart, kind, eager to help, and understanding. Whenever I’d vent or cry to her about silly friends or boy problems, she’d always listen and give me advice.
That being said, with how intelligent she is, it would occasionally frustrate me. On days that I only wanted to complain, and she’d start to run through the science and mechanics of the brain, sometimes I’d wish to just hear the basic “it’ll be okay”. Regardless, I know I’m extremely blessed to have her as my mom and I’ll always be grateful for her knowledge on anxiety, depression, and more.
things i’ve learned
After moving from Virginia to Texas in the middle of seventh grade (my dad thought it would help me make friends, which it did so, thanks I guess?), it felt as if a black cloud lingered over me. Despite that “southern charm” lingering in every corner of my new town, I still ached for the familiarity of the friends I knew back in Virginia. For the first few years that I had to adjust to my new life, I dealt with symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Without going too deep into my mental health, something that’s common with anxious people is that we tend to avoid the things that trigger our anxiety. In fact, it’s just human nature to procrastinate the things we don’t like. When we face feelings we can’t handle, it’s much easier to shove things onto a shelf for later. Nevertheless, when I refused to do things that made me anxious, my mom practically forced me to do it anyway because she didn’t want anxiety to control my life.
Now that I’m an adult in college, I don’t have my mom to make me to do anything anymore, leaving me with the choice to avoid and let the anxiety build, or just take a leap forward and just go for it.
How do I deal with this “friend”?
After dealing with this rise and fall of anxiety for the past few years, my mom (as well as other things) has taught me so many tips and tricks to help me handle it. While I’m not sure if I’ll ever not be an anxious person, I find myself somewhat grateful for the way my overthinking brain works. Some days my anxiety can have me crippled in bed, too stressed to do anything but think, and other days I barely register it’s there.
In no way am I an expert at this stuff, but from my own personal experience I’ve learned that it’s better to embrace the anxiety sometimes. It’s easy said than done, but breaking the cycle of avoidance is key to loosening the hold that anxiety can have on you. The more you hide away from those feelings, the more you tell your brain that you can’t handle those things, therefore only raising your anxiety levels for whenever you face the same situation.
Like I said, easier said than done. Regardless, it’s important to take this one step at a time. Tackle some hard things, but don’t put on too much all at once. You are so much stronger than your thoughts; there’s so much to love in life and you won’t discover that if you hide from it. It’s normal to face with anxiety from time to time, but don’t let it control your life.