The twenties (and early thirties) are a magical time where you’re savoring entry into adulthood and making the most out of things while you discover things about yourself. One of these things is figuring out your relationship with alcohol. Different people have different tolerances and desires when it comes to alcohol consumption. However, it can be a little daunting going out to bars, clubs, etc. as a significant part of American social culture involves alcohol.
Personally, I have a low tolerance for alcohol and I did not grow up with alcohol in the house due to my parents’ culture. When I turned 21 in 2018, the culture of going out and drinking was very novel to me. Even now, 6 years later, I’m still learning things especially here as a graduate student, when a lot of social scenes in a grad students life involves going to a bar or pub (instead of clubs or similar like in undergrad). What I am aware of now is that I don’t have a tolerance to go drink outside of my apartment unless I take careful precautions like long waiting periods before driving or finding alternative transportation. This has caused me to avoid going out and drinking most of the time, which is totally fine by me. Most of the time I become a designated driver (DD) and can ensure I get people home safely.
Before, I would feel somewhat intimidated due to social pressures but over time I’ve become comfortable with the idea of being sober while everyone else was drinking. Like I am totally fine being the only sober one while everyone else is as drunk as a skunk. It still does suck when people still urge me to drink despite me saying “I don’t want to because I’m driving” or “I just don’t want to”. Like the people I mostly go out with are all older, so it would be expected that they would be mature enough to accept this, however, it just comes down to who they are as a person. People I can deal with, it’s the internal pressure that arises that is hard to overcome.
A lot of this boils down to how you yourself handles peer pressure. I used to feel like I would have to do what others did to try and fit in and then it would only be a detriment to myself. Now at 26, my self-efficacy in handling pressure from others is allowing me to avoid drinking like this. It also translates into other social situations where I’m pressured into doing something I don’t like, like loud places, doing certain things, etc.
Being sober while surrounded by people drinking is certainly something, but it’s something that shouldn’t be daunting. It’s quite nice to observe and people watch while not being in an altered state. If this is something that you’re weirded out by – don’t be. It’s perfectly fine to do. As you do it more and more, it’s something you become comfortable with, and it makes the times you do choose to go drink more valuable as it’s like a treat for you.