(If any of my family members are reading this, you’re gonna have to use the Google.)
With Halloween falling on a t-shirt Tuesday this year, I thought my normal daily attire would suffice. “It’ll be casual,” I thought, and as usual I was wrong. Monday night around 10 p.m., while I should’ve been studying for my Rhetoric exam, I had the bright revelation that this is probably my last year to dress up, and I needed to go all out. I’m old now, though, and I decided to go the unconventional route and skip out on the slutty bunny costume.
Three hours of hair braiding and tattoo drawing later, my transformation was complete, and Post Ma(lane) was born:
I will later regret posting this on the Internet where it will forever remain, but the photographic proof was necessary. I promise I’m not that ugly.
So, in the beginning I was afraid to come out of my room because wow, it was just ugly. Some people do the ugly costumes but make it cute, this was not cute at all. But as the night went on, the thought that I wouldn’t really see anybody I knew (wrong, again) and the amount of alcohol that I can only imagine Post Malone would drink on a casual night out kept me going. I did not wake up on Wednesday feelin’ like a rockstar.
Aside from a handful of girls (in their slutty bunny costumes) that gave Post Ma(lane) a “wtf are you doing?” look, I got a lot of compliments and even a few handshakes from my fellow dudes, some of which were the slutty bunnies’ boyfriends. What can I say, I’m officially a bro. The bars were even nice enough to play a few of my songs and I put on a little concert. Post Malone most definitely doesn’t give a sh*t what other people think of him… clearly… so neither did Post Ma(lane). I took it too far, and I loved it.
Post Ma(lane) had a great time Tuesday night, but was thrown into the trash laid to rest Wednesday morning along with his $11 Rolex he got at Walmart and his chain, all while wearing his signature braids.
Overall, dressing as Post Malone took a lot of the stress most college girls face with their costumes out of the night, and allowed me to have fun with it and really just enjoy myself. 10/10 would recommend dressing as something ugly and different at least once, preferably your senior year when you’re going to be bowing out of town in a few months.