I am very lucky to say that I have experienced some of the best and worst relationships that have impacted how I view men. Or rather, at least men I know I want to be in a relationship with. My standards have definitely skyrocketed since my very first.
Most people would say that my first relationship wasn’t really a relationship. I guess that’s because it started in France. I would go to this camp every summer on the west coast of France, starting at the age of 13, and would find these guys to be…well…different than what I’ve seen at my school in Texas. They were kind of chivalrous and very respectful. My first few years of going to this camp, I made some of my best friends that I still talk to today. It has been a life changing experience that I will never forget. I had been going to this camp for about 3 years when I got into my first relationship. We were both 15 years old and that was the age cutoff to keep attending the camp. I remember him coming up to me and asking me out, and even though we were just at a camp and couldn’t actually “go out”, I of course said yes because it was a hot French guy. I mean, who wouldn’t? This guy though wasn’t just any typical guy. He was THE guy. He was sweet, helpful, loving, caring, truthful, and respectful. I thought I had found the love of my life.
Though the camp only lasted 3 weeks, we spent every single day together. When we left the camp, we knew what we were getting ourselves into. I was of course moving back to the United States and he was staying in France. He had taken the 4 hour bus ride home while I took a 14 hour plane flight home. It was probably the worst parting I have ever experienced to this day. We stayed in constant contact for a couple years after we left each other, but once Covid-19 hit, I knew I wasn’t going to go back any time soon. So, I did what any reasonable person would do and I cut things off. Even though I was the one who ended things, I think it was bound to happen, especially since we still haven’t seen each other in a good 4 years.
Long distance relationships can work to an extent. I think you both have to be willing to put in many years of hard work and commitment because you never know what will end up happening and how long it will last. He was able to put in the work, but I couldn’t. I know what kind of man I want and I now view most men in a respectful manner, even if it doesn’t work out. A good thing that came out of my first relationship is that I now know what I want in a relationship and I know exactly what I’m worth. And while I might have learned that on my own, I had the opportunity to learn it with him.