For most of us, we go through multiple phases of second semester excitement. There’s the absolute awe and wonder of escaping your hometown, no longer sleeping in your childhood bedroom, you’re back in CSTAT, baby!
You’re at the peak of your life (unless you peaked in high school, sorry), you’ve never looked better, and there’s some sort of event somewhere in town just begging for you to put on false eyelashes and jeapordize your GPA during syllabus week.
However, spring semester is still a scary time, and I’m here a with reminder of the top 10 scariest things on campus that will make you wish winter break hadn’t ended so soon.
10. The Corps of Cadets
They all dress in a universally unflattering shade of khaki. They yell in unison. Have you ever heard a senior walk behind you? It sounds like a war is coming.
9. People on bikes who have never ridden a bike
I am a firm believer that there should be a biking license to ride on campus.
8. Rudder Plaza
People handing out fliers. People handing out pencils. People handing out nothing, but asking you to come listen to people talk or watch people dance. I just want to make it inside of the MSC my friends, please don’t make me feel horrible for not coming to your event.
7. The women’s bathrooms on the first floor of Evans
Every single strange bathroom story I have has happened in this specific one. Don’t go there.
6. People who drink Frappucinos on the regular
As a black coffee enthusiast these people terrify me. Sure, these can be a good treat every once in a while, but every day??? That’s straight up petrifying.
5. Century Tree
Maybe I’m allergic to romance, but Century Tree scares me. I do not go near that thing. I don’t want catch Feelings.
4. People who take up a whole couch in the Flag Room just to nap, then refuse to turn off their annoying alarm. You know what alarm I’m talking about.
I don’t know if I’m scared of them or inspired by them.
3. Guys who wear basketball shorts on the daily
Do you play middle school basketball? It’s winter dude. These are the types of guys to stay FAR away from.
2. Business Majors
One time I heard a guy in WCL talk about how superior he is to everybody else, nice! Business majors can step on you with their pointy heels and feel no remorse!!
1. That guy who asked you out for coffee once, and you were too nice to say you’re uninterested.
He got you free coffee! But now you have to make sure you never ever make eye contact again or else you’ll find yourself in 10 years married to a mediocre dude. Horrifying.