There’s a quote that stuck with me while watching the Netflix show “The End of the F***ing World”: “You can get stuck in a place and not even realize it. If you’re not careful, you can get stuck there forever.”
No matter the bad things you go through, no matter how bad things seem to be, there’s always something better waiting for you out there. It’s cliche, I know. You’ve hear it a thousand times, I know. And sometimes it feels like the moments of darkness may never end, I know that too.
The images of those bad things flash constantly behind your eyes. Every time you shut them you feel like you’re drowning, like you’ll never escape the pain. It’s so easy to get lost in the pain. It’s easy to let it take over and take control. Once you lose control, it’s hard to gain it back.
That’s when the nothingness moves in and the numbness makes a home in your chest. Suddenly nothing matters, the pain doesn’t even seem to matter anymore. You push it away, hide it deep inside your bones, and pretend it isn’t eating away at your insides.
I think that hurts worse, pretending it doesn’t. There’s no longer room for anything else. No room for the things you used to love. And that’s okay for a little bit. It’s important to feel the pain, but you can’t let it stay. You can’t let it move in.
The End of The F***ing World is a great composition of pain and darkness. It shows the reality behind pain and what happens when it’s left to fester. The quotes inside it are more beautiful than I could ever hope to write, but I encourage if you’ve felt any of the things above to give it a watch.
What seems like two rather bland characters, James and Alyssa, go through the world’s worst imaginable pain. Through heartbreak, being hunted, and the insurmountable amount of darkness that eats away inside the both of them, they find what it means to let go and heal. It takes two seasons and a lot of sitting on the edge of your seat – and personally a lot of tears, but they get there.
When the pain makes a home, promise me you’ll kick it out sooner rather than later. After all, it’s not paying rent. Find happiness in the little things of life, like the way Alyssa’s freckles splatter across her face and the way James always smiles to himself when even the smallest of good things happen.
Let those things move in. Let love in. And not romantic love, just love for the world and the things inside it. Start with the way the freckles mirror the night sky and the smile reminds you of a child laughing for no reason. Hold onto those small moments and hug them tight, especially when the darkness seems inescapable.
Remember that you are not alone in the world and that even though there is pain and darkness there is love and happiness as well. They can balance each other if you to let them.
Sometimes it may feel like it’s the end of the f***ing world, but I promise it’s not.
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Please remember to seek help if you need it. You are not alone and people care for you more than you realize. You are a commodity to this world whether you choose to believe it or not. If you need to talk to someone, please call these numbers or seek a friend.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Substance abuse & Mental Health Hotline: 1-800-662-4357