My hometown of El Paso, which has a population of about 600,000 people, is no longer my home. It is the place where I was born, yes, but it is no longer what I consider “home” because it has served its purpose for me. It filled a portion of my life with great memories of family, friends, and trials that have shaped me; however, I wanted opportunities that I believed my hometown did not have for me.
I lived in El Paso for 18 years, and it goes without saying that I knew that city like the back of my hand. I went from a somewhat densely populated area to one that had a mere population of 100,000. Coming from El Paso—which is drastically different from College Station in terms of the environment and people—I experienced a different atmosphere. I began attending Texas A&M, which for the most part consists of people that were raised two to four hours away. They bonded with each other immediately because of the cities they were from. I would be lucky to run into someone from my hometown on campus. These students are also near their emotional support systems. I was a total of 10 hours away. The issue is not that I do not want to visit home; it’s that I simply can’t. A 10 hour trip is just not something that is viable. I envied these people who drove home during football bye-weeks and well, for fun or not at all. I was stuck between feeling home-sick for a place that I could no longer call my literal home and feeling unwelcome in a place that I did not feel “at home” at yet. These are the steps that helped me and could help anyone else if they are going through the same experience:
Keep in touch with your support system.This is a huge one. When I say “support system,” I do not mean the technical term. I mean to define this term as the people who have helped you get to where you are. This includes teachers, counselors, friends, siblings, and/or parents. If you made it to where you are entirely on your own, then kudos to you. Still, some effort and praise should be spent looking and finding these types of motivators to spur you on in times of need.
Invest in yourself.Invest in the things that make you, well, you. In order to join other organizations and meet people with the same interests as you, you have to know what your interests even are. Take the time to try new things or take the time to better yourself at the things you already know you like. Take the time to focus on the person you want to be, the people you want to surround yourself with, and the things you want to spend your time doing. Once these things are decided upon, you will know who you are and where you belong in a new environment. Then, you can move on to the next step …
Get involved.Yes. The biggest obstacle. Getting involved. I grudgingly admit that I once thought that nothing fit me at my university, and this was a scary thought. The first week of the fall semester, there were flyers for applications to every organization that I could think of ranging from photography clubs to skate clubs to Quidditch clubs. Yeah, Quidditch. The point is that it took me a while to find something I liked until I came across a flyer to apply for Her Campus. Then, I felt like I was a part of something new and exciting. I belonged to something. To make an impact and to assimilate yourself better, I advise that you join an organization that fits your interest. This opens the door to other opportunities and new people.
Focus on the bigger picture, but take it one day at a time. You’re going to imagine yourself surrounded by friends and acing every single class. That’s what I hope, at least, but there are going to be times when you feel as though the steps you are taking are getting you nowhere. Let me tell you something: Rome was not built in a day. To make friends, you have to start introducing yourself to people. To get good grades, you have to break down your study times and set short-term tasks. You won’t wake up with the life you want. Luckily for you, you already have ambition in you, which was the exact force that led you to leave home to experience something new. Keep that quality, and shape the life you want for yourself one decision at a time.
Believe in yourself.I have spent ages struggling to believe in myself. It is not fun. It is something I still need help with. However, there are times when I feel like I am on top of the world, and that is because I instill in myself the notion that I deserve to be wherever I find myself. Just the same, you deserve whatever success you have achieved. You may not have deserved the failures, but you have and will learn from them. They will make you an overall, well-rounded individual that succeeds in the face of adversity. That is enough to believe in yourself. You may be in a new place away from the place you identify as “home,” but make the best out of it.