We are a collection of the people we have loved and those who have loved us. There is a saying about how no one has an original experience or thought. Could this be because we are all connected in some shape or form? Not in the sense that we all have the same experiences, but they all come from those same places: from what we have learned from those who have been a part of our lives. Learning something does not always have to be a deep, meaningful life-altering lesson; it can be something as simple as adding lime juice to apples so they don’t brown in a couple of minutes (thanks Mom!).
We are a collection of those experiences that have taught us anything and everything. The setting, the people, the age, the vibe. Everything that is part of any experience we have will be with us forever, in some shape or form. I wear my watch on my right hand because one day my Dad told me to put it there to distinguish Left vs. Right. This happened years ago, and yet, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, I still wear my watch on my right hand. I never braid my hair when it’s still wet because my Mom told me it damages my hair, and not only do I never do that, but I share that insightful tip with my friends if I see them do it. What I always associated with my mom, my friends will now associate with me, and that chain of knowledge goes on forever, connecting us in a timeless string of ideas and experiences. With time, we become museums of knowledge and experiences, where different collections can relate to moments in our lives, and the artists are those who have been part of those crucial moments. I am the only one who can visit my museum, but it’s nice to think that I’ve been an artist in the museums of the people I love.
The beautiful thing about friendships and relationships and connections is that everything we learn from people who love us, we can teach to the people we love. I have connected my friends from Colombia to my friends from Texas simply by sharing a piece of knowledge coming from an experience I shared with one of them. How to pour a great cup of coffee, how to make the best rice, why to do skincare in a certain order, and so many other parts of who I am. Sharing those special tips with people from all over makes the world feel a little bit less immense and intimidating, knowing that you leave a little piece of you everywhere you go and with everyone you meet.
What we leave behind isn’t always an idea or a helpful tip; at times, it’s simply something that your friends can see and think of you. In my case, friends have told me that when they see laptops full of stickers, they can’t help but think of me. When they hear a very specific song from this one Mexican band, I know I will never stop getting videos of them singing it and thinking of me. Or if someone walks by with wrists full of bracelets of any kind, an image of me comes to my friends’ mind. And just like they are reminded of me by these insignificant and allegedly superficial things, I think of every one of them as I go on about my life.
I can think of a handful of my friends that I think of when I see red nails. But only a few come to mind when I see white or pink nails. When I see a very specific penguin meme, I can only think of my best friend and me in middle school. Or when I put on my lip combo, seeing that she has been one of my makeup inspirations for as long as I can remember. But if I see a very specific Shakira meme, I think of both my brother and my Puerto Rican friend. When I go on TikTok or remember a famous Youtuber, I think of my sister and her aspirations to become an influencer (in her mind, she has always been one). If I hear this one song from that same Mexican band, I think of the friend I went to their concert with. I think of this same friend when I see something that’s both orange and purple at the same time, but if I see a strong combination of blues, I think of her best friend, who happens to be a friend of mine too. As I find myself growing to love Mexican hot sauces and the possible concoctions one can make with them, I happily think of my Mexican friends who have been so eager to teach me how to incorporate it into my day-to-day life. When I go to Starbucks and order a specific syrup, I think of my friend who used to be a barista and introduced me to my now go-to drink. When I hear songs from a particular Venezuelan artist, no one but this one friend comes to mind, and how she heard my rants as I navigated the endless possibilities of a very much imagined situationship with someone we both knew from different corners of the world. I also think of her and the Mexican-band-loving friend when I pour out my experiences and friendships into this article since a conversation with them brought about the idea of honoring those who have been such a monumental part of my life.
I could keep going and try to write something for every person who has been in my life, but to do so, I’d have to do the deepest introspection I have ever done, seeing that all of the people and experiences have shaped who I am today. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be here without them, but I know that the person I am would not be the same if they hadn’t helped shape me as I’ve grown surrounded by all of them.